


Out of Darkness, You Shall Come

by InannaAthanasia



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Blood Mages, Blood Magic, Cruelty, Cullen Has Issues, Curses, Dark Elden Gods, Dark Male Inquisitor, Demons are Tricky, Depression, Desire Demons (Dragon Age), Dragon Age: Inquisition Spoilers, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Envy Demons (Dragon Age), Eventual Sex, F/M, Falling In Love, Forgotten Ones (Dragon Age), Hardened Alistair (Dragon Age), Human Sacrifice, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, King Alistair, Love Triangles, Lyrium Addiction, Lyrium Withdrawal, M/M, Mages and Templars, Maker's Breath, Masturbation, NSFW, New Gods added to Lore, Old Gods (Dragon Age), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rape Recovery, Red Lyrium, Sweet Cullen Rutherford, Tags May Change, Tevinter Culture and Customs, Tevinter Imperium, sexual dreams
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-13
Updated: 2018-02-13
Packaged: 2019-03-17 14:33:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 39,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13660998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InannaAthanasia/pseuds/InannaAthanasia
Summary: There were several people Cullen never expected to see again and at the top of the list is Inani Scipio. Surrounded by mystery and strange warnings, he can't decide if she brings destruction with her or if she stops greater evils from happening. All he knows for sure is that he wants more than anything to taste those lips once again that he felt so very long ago.Inani was bred for a purpose, her magic is not only stronger than most, but she has control over things that none have ever heard of. Elegant, sophisticated and confident, she bleeds of nobility and hides many secrets as to who she really is. Knowing the cost if she fails, she must focus on her task, but a certain Templar keeps getting in her way. She knows she needs to stay away from him, knows deep inside why he wants her and it has nothing to do with her and everything to do with the curse she is forced to endure, yet, knowing doesn't stop her from desiring the man she knows she can never truly have.The World is burning, Politics bring out the evil of many, Demons are pouring from the sky and Ancient Powers fight an epic battle once more, yet in the center, one woman stands, but can she stand alone?New Chapters Posted often





	1. Prologue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *****Note*******
> 
> I posted this first on my other Ao3 Account Midnight Muse. This story was darker than anything I have ever written before and I decided to post it there, as well as for a few other reasons too. My daughter, however, has decided to get an account on Ao3 of her own, so I decided to just give her that one and just move this here. I want to be clear that there has been no copying another's work or anything else since it was my own account.

_"They were dark, terrible beings, made of hate, betrayal, revenge, and justice. They were the beginning and will be the end. They forever watch, forever plot and will one day break their bonds and destroy all who opposed them. Yet, even then there is one small hope for all mortals, for justice is forever fair. For those who stay true, justice will be kind and spare you the reckoning if, and only if, you truly deserve it. Be wary of her agent and live nobly for it could be anyone, anywhere, watching from within the void itself." - The warning about the Dark Ones._

She was dying. All the power within Tevinter, all the laws of magic at his disposal and he could not save her. What was the point of being a Magister? What was the point of all his research into things even the Tevinter's found disturbing if it could not save the one soul truly precious to him?

He looks at the bed again and saw a small smile grace her lips. "Are you awake?" he asked.

"For a moment, but I am so very tired after such a long conversation." She looked over at him as she leaned up slightly from her bed.

"Conversation?" He looked around his small study, no one but they had been within for months now. Was she now in the final stages of death and hallucinating? "Whom were you speaking to?"

"The lady, there in the corner, she had an offer for me, one worthy of listening to Father."

"Offer? My child, do not take an offer from creatures not of the flesh, for they are tricks to lure you to your doom." He began searching his tomes for the wards to protect her. Had his last experiment let some demon lose within this room? No, he had set his wards, protected this room, he told himself, yet something was happening.

"She is no demon Father, she is light, mercy, kindness, and justice, not something you let loose." She sighed and once more laid her head back down on her small bed within the room.

"How do you know that is what I thought?" What was going on here? Should he request help from the others, no, they wouldn't understand, as they had told him to stop this insanity and let her die? As if he would, she was his only child and the last link he had to his beloved wife. No, he should purge the room. The demon had an offered for him that would save her from his last conjuring, perhaps it was time to take his offer. What was the life of a few dozen slaves compared to his only child?

Setting his wards, he opened his portal and called through the Demon once more and agreeing to his terms told him that night he would bring the blood he requires in exchange for his daughter's health.

Days had past and none heard movement from within the Scipio home. Finally fearing the worse, a Magister was sent to the house to find out if any still lived. Knocking on the door in case it was merely a Father mourning, the door opened to reveal someone he did not expect to see.

"Milady Scipio, you are looking quite well, I was afraid-, well where is your Father, child?" Had her eyes always been such an unnatural green before he wondered?

"I am afraid he has died, my lord. As you know I have been deathly ill, but a few days ago began to feel better." She paused and tried to compose herself. "My Father sought the aid of a demon to save me. He slaughtered every slave within our home and in the end, the demon killed him, but thankfully, I was able to kill the beast. It has taken me days to regain my strength to even walk from my bed and even now feel weak."

"Claudia, I am so sorry to hear. Let me have my fellow Magisters come and be sure the place is sealed." He paused, she acted as if she didn't know her own name.

"Claudia? No, I am Inani, for one life has ended and today I begin anew." She swung her gaze to the man and he watched as her eyes began to swirl and he saw the very Fade within. "Calm yourself. You will go home now and tell all that my Father died from the illness I had, yet as I recovered, he did not. You will tell them that as my grief was so strong, you helped me leave since I cannot bear to stay here." She smiled as he turned around and left.

Later that night a lone figure stood on the hill as she watched the house burn to the ground. The house of Scipio had fallen and there would be no more. Feeling a single tear slip down her cheek, she wiped it off and looked at her damp fingers. Was she crying? She had never cried before and the rush of emotions that came with it made her stagger and fall. Taking a deep breath she calmed herself, then stood and mounted her horse. She had little time to reach Ferelden and Kinloch Hold and she could not let such _feelings_ stop her task.

She could feel the change shifting, drifting across the land and it would start in a small Circle in Ferelden. She must reach it before it falls, she needed the artifact to be safe. Looking down at her horse, she leaned forward and whispered in its ear. It will run without tire now and may the powers that be, she too will not tire in her task.

"Nothing, nor no one being can stand in my way."

With that, Inani Scipio disappeared into the night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He watched as the beautiful woman was lead past him. She looked proud, sophisticated and it was obvious she was someone who was important for unlike most that came there, she showed no fear as the Templar's escorted her. Something he had not seen before, but then again, most mages in Ferelden feared the Templar's and if the rumors were true, this woman came from Tevinter. Even with the blindfold she wore, she still walked with purpose as if her eyes could still see where she went. He wondered why her eyes had been covered but had no one to ask.

It was a shame, he thought, for such a beautiful woman to be born a mage. She looked as if she could have been a Queen of some nation, bred for the role of controlling countries, but instead, she would live life in the tower away from the world. He had overheard one of the Templar's talking about capturing her. He claimed she could do magic that he had never heard of before and that it had been just dumb luck on their part that they not only lived through it but managed to bring her in. He heard only a snippet about her eyes and that was why they have her blindfolded. He couldn't help but wonder what they saw that made them so afraid?

Greagoir had listened to them grimly and even with Irving begging him to let him talk to her, he had felt that such power could not be contained or trusted and ordered her instead to be made Tranquil. He would not chance her escaping the tower. It was at that point that Greagoir had summoned him into his office. He was to stand guard at her door for the night until the ritual would be performed tomorrow. As he left the room, his Knight-Commander had called after him and reminded him to stand fast and not be fooled by a pretty face. He couldn't help but blush and stutter a "Y-Yes K-Knight-Commander" before hurrying from the room. Greagoir had lectured him already over the gossip that he was in love with one of their charges. Amell was a beautiful girl and so very kind too and deep in his heart he knew he did have feelings for her, but they were certainly nothing he would have ever acted on. He swore an oath to the Chantry and Templar's and nothing would make him ever break that, or at least he believed that to be so at that time.

So there he stood later that night, in front of an isolated cell in the lower basement of the Circle, guarding a woman while praying the Maker would indeed forgive her for the sin of magic and she find peace in knowing she would soon be free from it. As he recited his prayers to himself, he did not hear when the woman stood and came to the bars, at least until her musical voice drifted to his ears.

"What is your name?" She asked.

"You do not need to know such mage and please go back to your cot. This will be your last night in the Fade, I suggest you enjoy it."

"My what a fierce boy you are," She leaned against the bars, "But do not be so certain. Something evil is happening in this world, you would do well to focus on it. Death is already here and none of you will listen. Remember me when you face the darkness and how had you listen to a mage, your fate might have been kinder."

He spun around quickly and glared at her. "What do you say? What are you planning? What evil do you desire? Perhaps you should be branded this night."His words might sound tough, but his heart was pounding. Should he warn Greagior? No, he told himself, not until he knew more. He stood his ground, but when she lifted her eyes to his, he shuddered as she pulled off the blindfold she still wore. Her eyes looked like a demon's, strangely pale green with colors one found in the Fade and never outside of it. He watched as they began to shimmer and swirl. He also found couldn't break the gaze.

"I could make you release me if I wanted. I let those fools think they caught me, but they did not, for I needed to gain entry into this tower and allowed them to bring me here. You have been taught magic is evil, taught that all within the Imperium all are evil as well, but just as non-mages have those who are good and those who are not, so do those where magic rules." Her eyes soften and he could feel almost a tender and loving energy coming from her. "What is your name?" She whispered to him as she raised a hand to trace his cheek. "Mine is Inani."

"I-I a-am C-Cullen." He swallowed and closed his eyes as she ran her elegant nails over his soft lips.

"You have a hard future in front of you Cullen, but do not worry, I have a gift for you," She smiled and drew him closer to the bars. "I see in your eyes something I have not seen for ages." Drawing his face to hers, she laid her lips on his and softly kissed him. He whimpered as her lips stroked his.

His mind swirled and tumbled around him in the surge of emotions he was feeling. He had never kissed a woman before and could show no restraint as she deepened the kiss. The first swipe of her tongue against his had him moaning and clutching at her the best he could through the bars. Maker, he felt something inside himself shatter and saw images of battles and dragons and her. Yet, before he could focus on any of them, she broke the kiss and when she pulled away from him, leaving him feeling weak, yet wanting more. He leaned against the bars, panting and trying to regain his composure.

"Cullen," She whispered softly to him. "No harm will come to you physically when this tower falls, I promise you, but I cannot protect you from everything and for that I am sorry," She frowned. "Please understand you must remain strong, find your faith and hold it tight and remember this, when you see magic cause horror and death before your eyes it has also saved your life this night."

He watched as she turned her back to him and went to sleep on the cot. Tomorrow she would be made tranquil and no one would ever know about the kiss they shared. Everything would be fine and he wondered if she had been trying to sway him in her favor. All would be back to normal and he would forget this small moment in time. Yet as the night continued the images he saw haunted him. Every time he closed his eyes for even a second, he saw battles between demons and dragons and beings he could not make sense of. What was happening to him? Telling himself to forget it all, he tried to relax, tried to focus, but in the end, he could not and that was when her dire words came true.

He watched as his friends died, watched as kind and loving Amell became an Abomination and tears ran down his cheeks, yet he endured. He suffered mentally and physically and had no idea how many days (weeks? months?) he sat in his prison, but the more the Demons harmed him the more he became resolved to live. As time went on, he thought more on the mage from Tevinter and his anger grew uncontrollable. She was most likely the cause of all this and she had only tried to use a naive boy's emotion in her favor, for why else would she know what was to happen?

It would be years before he thought of her again. It had been only a few weeks prior to the fall of the tower in Kirkwall and the destruction of the Chantry. He had been sent to the wounded coast in search of Ser Thrask and found a mess. Thrask and many other Templar's, as well as several mages, were dead and in the middle of it was the Champion, Bastian Hawke. After learning what had happened (if it was even true), he had headed back to the Gallows to speak with the Knight-Commander when he saw a lone woman he thought looked as if she had come from Sundermount. Leaving the others, he called out to her and was shocked when she came close enough to see her face and knew immediately it was her, Inani.

"You, want are you doing here?" It did not escape him that once more she appeared when the world seemed to be crumbling around him.

"Hello to you too Cullen." She smiled. "I am here for an important task. The world is slipping into darkness, we must be vigilant and be sure the darkness does not snuff it out, yet I had to be sure you were alright and seeing as you are," she smiled.

"What in the name of the Maker does that mean?"

"It means we all do our part to protect this world from evil and now I must leave, for my task is too important to fail, even for you my handsome Templar." She smiled and chuckled and Cullen could feel the blush creeping up his face. She then looked away and when she turned to him once more he noticed finally her eyes did not shimmer and swirl like they had the last time they had met. "Cullen, listen to me." She reached out and laid one dainty hand on his chest. "Beware the man called Hawke. He awoke things, old things,  that should not have been touched and set into motion events that will tear this world apart."

 Cullen frowned at her words. "Hawke is an," He paused "acquired taste so to speak, but the man is hardly worth such dire words."

"He has aided a bloodmage who foolishly allowed evil into this world and protects an abomination, do not be naive. He may be on your side in the end, but be cautious is all I ask. I must go, but be safe Cullen and should we meet again, I hope it is under better circumstances."

He watched her leave while screaming inside himself to detain her and find what her part in all of this was. It did not escape him that with the city on edge and his concerns with the Knight-Commander, that once more she appeared when a tower threatened to fall. Looking away he asked himself if he should perhaps take her to the Gallows and find out exactly why she was here and what her cryptic warnings were really about, yet once he decided to do just that, he turned and saw she had seemingly disappeared.

Shaking his head he headed back to the Gallows. He said a silent prayer as he walked and once more asked the Maker for guidance and to watch over those innocents in Kirkwall. Which made him think about her warnings about Hawke. The man had indeed become a powerful Mage and he had often thought the man had divine luck on his side but now he wondered if it was more than just luck. Too many questions and right now he needed to focus on what was happening at this moment in Kirkwall. He was not as worried about Hawke as he was about his own Knight-Commander. Meredith was not the same woman as she was all those years back when he had first come to Kirkwall.

This is a terrible town he thought and he had seen so many that fell into the depths of madness over the years as if infected with evil. He knew there were stories about when it had been under Imperium control and terrible events that happened, but he had always doubted they were anything more than just that, stories, but now? Now he wasn't quite sure. Taking a deep breath he left to find the Knight-Commander. He needed his mind clear because he felt in his soul that this was not the end, but only the beginning of dark times.


	2. The Inquisition

_In the early days of the Templar-Mage war, it had been mostly about Mages trying to be free from the abuse and lack of rights they had in the Circles. It was about opposing the rite of Tranquility, that left a Mage a shell of who they once were and without magic, that the Templar's wielded with brutality against any Mage they felt deserved it. But somewhere after that moment in Kirkwall's Gallows, after the Champion stood against evil, it became so much more. More than equality, more than freedom, more than anyone could ever guess. The world of Thedas provided the perfect breeding ground to allow something truly evil to grow and take root and when it had grown to the point of no return, a horror was birthed into the world._

_It started innocent enough, a good cause given in good faith to try to bring peace to a world at war. But as they say, the road to hell is paved with good intentions and this was no different. The Chantry Divine had brought Mages, Templar's and others across the world to the Temple of the Sacred Ashes in hopes of restoring peace. It was her dream for a future where all could find a way to coexist, where the mistakes of the past could be corrected, but dreams can turn so easily into nightmares and this dream was no different. When the explosion happened almost everyone there died, but the true evil was not the death of so many lives, it was the rip in the sky between this world and the Fade. Home to Demons and other creatures, they poured into the world-devouring everything in sight. It seemed hopeless, that was until one man, a man who was said to be delivered into this world by the prophet Andraste and carried on his hand a mark, rose above the rest as a savior, the only savior the world had. Because the mark he carried burned into his skin, was all that could close the rifts in the world and stop the onslaught of Demons._

Varric leaned back from the desk and cracked his shoulders. This was going to be a best seller, just like his tale of the Champion. Of course, it was not lost on him that in his book on Hawke he had not quite described the man to be as ambitious as he was in real life. He still considered Hawke a friend, but it was certainly not an easy friendship. He was a difficult man to know and now Varric found himself with yet another difficult man in charge.

"Some things never change," He muttered under his breath.

Trevelyan was not an easy man to deal with on many fronts. While he was a skilled warrior and triumphed again and again against all they faced, Varric was not the only one to see that the Inquisitor was a hard man to deal with at best, at worse? No one wanted to find out. While Hawke may have been ambitious, a bit hardheaded and willing to do almost anything if the coin was good enough, Trevelyan was all that and worse. He took what he wished and ground anyone under his boot who tried to stop him.

"Now what are you writing about?" Varric laughed at the distinct voice of disgust behind him.

"Now Curly, keep your pants on, nothing terrible I assure you."

"I highly doubt you could ever write something that would make me feel the urge to lose my pants."

"Is that, wait, did you make a joke? Maker, what will happen next? Nugs fly? Corypheus learns to love?" Varric chuckled at the frown his words caused. "Come now Curly, you can't expect me not to tease, especially with so much material you give me to work with."

"Fine, I will remember this," Cullen smiled. Truth be told he enjoyed the few passing jokes from Varric, it took a bit of the edge off of the daily weights, of course, he would never admit something such as that to him either. "Have you seen Trevelyan? I had a message from him, but did not find him in the War room."

"I remember him saying something about an important guest arriving today. Did you look in the courtyard? Maybe ask Leliana, I swear she knows when someone sneezes in Thedas."

"Indeed, especially considering recent confrontations." Cullen frowned. That was certainly saying it mildly. When Trevelyan threatened to have her thrown from the Inquisition, she had smiled and told him he would be dead before the command could be given and that he certainly did not want her talents wasted on him with so many other deserving individuals in Thedas. Trevelyan rarely accepted defeat but after muttering something about it most likely her monthly annoyance, he dropped the issue. Since then Leliana made a point of showing the Inquisitor exactly how much power the woman commanded. The recent incident involved a young girl whom he had used and brutalized, who was penniless until inheriting a sudden fortune that also bought her a higher ranking husband. Since she had been his favorite pet, he had been furious, but nothing could be done about it and aside from the very smug look of the Spymaster's face, there was nothing to prove her luck had been anything but divine coincidence. Since then, Trevelyan avoided the redhead as often as he could.

Before Varric could comment and ask more about his cryptic response, they heard horses in the courtyard and both left to see the commotion. Jogging down the steps, Cullen made it in time to see Trevelyan helping a very attractive woman down from her horse. With how cautious Trevelyan was with the woman, Cullen imagined she must be a family member because with her beauty he knew the Inquisitor would have had his hands all over the woman otherwise.

"Cullen, there you are, late as normal, meet my Sister, Marina Elizabeth Trevelyan or Rina as we call her." Cullen didn't miss the irritation in his voice. Hmph, Cullen thought, if he had expected me on time, perhaps he should actually write where he wanted us to meet, arrogant bastard. Trevelyan he found did the same to others just so that they would be late from hunting the egotistical arse down and by such give the man a reason to yell and try to degrade them. Cullen had noticed that it was becoming a constant with him as it seemed Cullen careful control over himself irritated him even more.

Looking at the woman he would not have guessed they were related. Where Jacen had dark skin and black hair, this woman was pale with flame worthy red hair. The thing that caught his attention the most was when she smiled, for it reached her eyes with merriment, unlike Jacen with his cold eyes that showed his pleasure for cruelty.

"Milady Trevelyan," Cullen took her hand and gave her a quick smile before kissing her hand."It is indeed a pleasure to greet you. Will you be visiting only or joining our cause?"

"Thank you, my Lord, I-"

"Cullen is not nobility Sister, while he does train my troops, he is only a _commoner_." He sneered the world commoner like it physically pained him and once more Cullen wanted to give the man some physical pain.

Cullen gritted his teeth and bit back the growl of annoyance as he realized once more how happy he was to learn that it was not Andraste who gave Jacen the mark and instead an accident from interrupting that creature Corypheus from the ritual he had planned. It actually made his faith stronger as well, for if Andraste had chosen this man to be her Herald, Cullen wasn't sure if he could continue to follow the Chantry's teachings.   

'Well you may not be a noble, but your manners certainly are better than many nobly born men." Cullen raised his eyebrows and didn't miss the scowl on Jacen's face at his sister's words. Cullen had to hold back a chuckle, he already liked this woman.

"Well, let me show you to your quarter's Sister and Cullen can go back to the mountain of work he never seems capable of finishing, no matter how many men are under his command."

"I do not know about that," Leliana called out as she strode up, wanting to meet this new guest of the Inquisition. "No matter how many mistakes you make during our war room missions, Cullen and his troops seem to excel. Perhaps you should come down from your rooms and train with his troops so that you can learn the power behind group efforts instead of the failure those who stand alone often feel." Giving Rina and courtly bow, Leliana greeted her and welcomed her to Skyhold. "As my job requires me to be informed about a great many things, often things one likes to pretend are hidden." She smiled sweetly at the Inquisitor. "I am pleased to meet such a noble lady as yourself, Milady Trevelyan. I was touched to hear of your tireless work in helping the Chantry with the refugee's, I am sure the Divine is smiling down on you from Andraste's side."

"My thanks, but please, such praise is too much. I only do as all who follow the Chantry should." Leliana watched her blush and noticed the brief look that passed between Sister and Brother. It seems her ladyship is not as fond of her brother like the rest of us she mused.

"Yes, well we can't all be fighting demons and saving everyone's life can we?" Trevelyan was livid. How dare that woman speak as such to his sister and him? He was the Inquisitor for Maker's sake! He was the one saving them! Not his little sister who liked to hand out blankets and soup to the poor. Whisking his sister away he left Leliana and Cullen silently laughing behind them.

"You are truly terrible Leliana and Maker bless you but I do adore it too!"

"What can I say, Cullen, a man like that brings out a bit of evil in me." She paused and frowned. "It is a shame that she is not the one with the mark. Did you know she had been the one asked to go to the Conclave?" She paused as he told her he did not."Yes, but her brother talked her into letting him go in her stead."

"Maker," He softly swore," she really could have been our Herald. Perhaps we should pray for a true miracle and Andraste may actually change our luck with them."

"May it be from your mouth to the Maker's ear, Cullen." Smiling and sharing a brief laugh, they went their separate ways, both wondering what would come with the Inquisitor's Sister joining them as she had originally been tasked to do so.


	3. The Stage is Set

While most of Skyhold hated the Inquisitor, they found that his Sister was not the same. With her kindness and compassion, she became a favorite among the people. She worked tirelessly to help anywhere she could and while she might be a noblewoman, she did not feel any task was beneath her. She worked mostly in the infirmary helping anywhere she could. Those who were in charge were shocked when she would do everything from giving the wounded sponge baths to even emptying chamber pots! What truly won their hearts was her work with the children. Many of the children there were orphans and several showed up wounded as soldiers found them across the land. Rina took it upon herself to become a surrogate Mother figure and would read to them at night when they were too scared to sleep and it was not uncommon to find her sound asleep with more than one child snuggled to her asleep as well.

With each praise the woman received, the Inquisitor became even angrier. He had heard more than once how people had wished she had been their Herald instead of him. Finally reaching his boiling point he went to find her and inform her she was to leave. When he had learned her husband had been killed and she was living at the Chantry she helped with, he had brought her here since he truly did love his little Sister. Unlike their elder Sister and Brother, Rina had never treated him with anything other than love, but even he could handle only so much.

Heading to the infirmary, he found her playing with a group of children throwing a ball back and forth. He paused and watched them play and found himself laughing at the sight. Rina was a beautiful woman and with the added flush to her cheeks from their game she was even more beautiful. Never had he seen any woman compare to her and that made him proud to have her as his family. When they had been young, his family had received offers for marriage to her from everyone, including the Vael family of Starkhaven! His own Sister could have been royalty and truly she was fit to be such too, but her parents had declined such, knowing the pressure upon any royal and felt the kindhearted girl would not have the endurance to thrive in such a setting. 

Deep in his thoughts about her, he had almost forgotten he was standing close by until he heard his name being called.

"Jacen, come, come join us!"

He could only smile as she beckoned him to them and in a moment of rare behavior did as she asked and joined their game. Laughing at her playful antics, they played until the children began to tire and she told each to go clean up before their evening meal. Jacen realized that while he did not like all the talk about her he had heard, he could not send her away. Their parents were dead and his elder siblings did not want her in their households. While he had many coins saved up that he could have bought her a place to live, with no husband to protect her Maker only knew what her fate might be in these dangerous times. No, Rina would stay at Skyhold where she was safe from the horrors plaguing their world.

Cullen watched from his tower and couldn't even begin to believe the sight he saw, the Inquisitor, Jacen Trevelyan, was playing with children! Maker, part of him wondered if Corypheus had won and this was the final sign of the world ending. Wondering if he should say an extra prayer, he decided not to push his luck and head to the war room at Leliana's request.

Pushing through the heavy wooden doors, he found Leliana looking over several reports with Josephine. Wondering why the Inquisitor wasn't there, he decided to wait and see if the man was simply late. As he slowly walked around the table, he got the feeling this was a more personal meeting that Leliana had asked for.

"Cullen, you're here." Leliana looked up and gave him a brief nod before going back to her papers.

"Alright, what's going on and why the meeting without the Inquisitor?" He had far too much work to do to wait around doing nothing.

"Tsk, tsk, Commander," Leliana smiled and then continued. "We have a curious problem going on. Someone has been going through many of the fallen circles digging for something. The report is always the same, elegant woman with an odd accent and eyes that are_."

"Green like the Fade and sometimes actually swirl, Maker." Cullen smiled when Leliana eyes went momentarily wide before giving him a small grin. "It would seem you know more then I was aware of Commander."

Cullen couldn't help but smile, very seldom did any single person surprise the Spymaster and he couldn't help but grin, even for one brief moment. "Her name is Inani Scipio and supposedly from Tevinter. She was at Kinloch Hold prior to it's fall during the Blight and then again at Kirkwall mere days before the battle at the Gallows. I spoke to her both times. At Kinloch hold, we, um, well we spoke and she, well supposedly she did something that protected me from dying there." Maker, he could see both women eyebrows raise and knew his cheeks felt warm, so he imagined he was starting to blush already.

"That must of been quite a moment for you to _remember_ so fondly Cullen," Leliana smirked and laughed, even more, when Cullen's whole face turned crimson.

"Ahem, yes, well, at any rate, she could be trouble. Any idea where she was last seen?"

"Near Haven," Josephine told them and with that, the meeting finished up quickly with a decision to send some small scouting parties out to see what Intel could be found about what she is doing at Haven. Cullen went back to his tower to try and concentrate on something other than the mysterious woman known only as Inani Scipio.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cullen seldom dreamed of anything other than the torture he endured during the Blight, but while his dreams that night were focused on Kinloch Hold, tonight there were no demons, only the beautiful Inani Scipio.

_He stood in the doorway of a small room looking in as she sat on a wooden bench gazing out a window, yet without even turning her head she seemed to know it was him._

_"Welcome Cullen, it has been a long time has it not?"_

_Her voice collided with him and rippled through his body. That accent was not Tevene, she sounded nothing like Dorian or anyone else he had ever heard from Tevinter._

_"It's because I am not from Tevinter. This body may be, but I, Inaniene, am  much older." She turned to look at him and once more he found himself focusing on her lips. "It's a curse you know, why you want to kiss me once more." He watched as she stood and walked to him, wearing a gown that looked sheer, yet he could not truly see her form. It didn't, however, stop him from reacting to her the same as he had done as a young teen all those years ago. Maker, please forgive him, all he wanted was to kiss her once more and pulling her close he did just that._

_Watching her pull away, she smiled and laid one hand on his cheek. "Cullen please, while a kiss from such a handsome man is indeed a pleasure, I need you to listen. It will be weeks before I can be there and you are in danger. The maleficar is coming. She escaped Kirkwall and seeks you, she has perverted Lyrium in new terrifying ways and her goal is to take the Inquisition to destruction. You Cullen, however, is where her true hatred lies. She loves you, yet hates you and wants you, at any cost. I wish I could come sooner." She turns her head before he can see her tears, but then she feels his hands in her hair, turning her back to him. "Even I must answer to a higher power."_

_Suddenly she is gone and now he stands on a hill with troops wearing uniforms he does not recognize. He watches as a large black dragon flies overhead, circling them all._

_"Inaniene!" He hears someone call out and watches as the huge black warhorse she rides turn toward the voice. She wears black armor and while she looks different, he knows it is her. Even with her hair is white, those green eyes he would know anywhere.  
_

_"The Dark Ones are here my Queen, Itaro and Iasho lead them."_

_"Ish Vasha!" The one known as the Queen swore. "Has the Ru-Costa shown itself?"_

_"No, but," She looks to the sky at the  dragon, "Ra-Coshka is watching, she will make sure they do not take us!"_

_He hears a horn blow and sees an army of demons and creatures he doesn't recognize, Maker what are they? Then he notices the ground is turning black under their feet and everything is dying. It reminds him of stories he had heard about the Blight and how it infects the land and kills everything._

_Everything shifts and he is once more in a room with Inani. She is wearing a beautiful gown of white and silver with her hair piled up on her head._

_"Are you a dreamer Cullen?" She smiles at him and laughs, "I know a poor joke, especially for a former Templar, yes? I know you're no mage, but you have power in the Fade and saw things a mere mortal is not supposed to know."_

_"About the dark ones?"_

_"Do not even whisper such! They are always listening, always waiting." She came to him and laid her hand once more on his cheek. "Remember my warning Cullen, beware the maleficar. She will be there soon."_

_He kissed her once more and held her tight, she felt so good in his arms, in fact, she fit perfectly._

_She sighed and then whispered into his chest, "It's not real Cullen, what you feel. I am the cursed one, I am forever and I am alone."_

_He kisses her again, was she cursed he asked himself? He smiles as his lips press against hers. "This is my dream and there are no curses." He chuckles and gets lost in the feeling of her lips against his._


	4. Wicked Plots

The Inquisitor had been gone for several weeks longer than had been expected. While reports were coming in regularly thanks to Leliana's scouts, they still were worried. Reports in the area were dire, the Red Templars had enslaved many of the locals, and to top it off their were sightings of _multiple_ dragons as well! The Emprise du Lion was a mess and if what the Inquisitor said was true, the Red Templar's were breeding something very bad in the center of the old fortress there.

When he finally arrived at Skyhold, his advisers were surprised to see Celene's former champion Michel de Chevin with him. What was even more shocking was when they met in the war room and Trevelyan announced Michel was to become his second in command to him. When Cullen voiced his objections, Jacen was not amused.

"Cullen, first you are my adviser, meaning you can give _advice_ and that is all. Second, even you have a second, whom mind you I wanted to place in charge of one of our outposts in the Western Approach to run, but you just couldn't work without him and refused me. I could have sent you packing for disagreeing with me, your Inquisitor, but I did not, instead, I allowed it," He paused as he walked to Michel and clasped him on the shoulder. "Now I desire someone I too can rely on an I choose him."

Cullen swore under his breath. It was common knowledge that his second in command, Rylen, was involved with Dorian and he had kept him at Skyhold so the two would not be parted. While Cullen may have illusions about love and relationships where he himself was concerned, he was not so narrow-minded to think others could not find such. It was a dark time to live in Thedas and if two people could indeed find true love, who was he to see them not together as long as they could be?

"Perhaps, if you Inquisitor," Leliana smirked, "Spent your time here training soldiers all day, viewing reports about our soldiers encounters and planning out the strategy  needed for us to win, you would understand needing another to help you, but since Skyhold is your personal time, one can't help wonder what you need help with here."

Cullen had almost choked in order to keep from laughing out loud at Leliana's remarks. Maker that woman pushed the arrogant man to his limits. Each watched as his eyes darken and rage boiled under his skin, waiting to see what the man's rage would come out this time. However, they were surprised when Michel laughed and leaned forward to whisper something in Jacen's ear, instantly causing the Inquisitor to laugh.

"Yes, that much is true," Jacen said, responding to whatever Michel had told him, "We need to focus on two things right now. One, what I found that will actually help us find Samson and two the trip to Halamshiral. Both of which we need to be prepared for. Hopefully, with what I found at the fortress, along with all those notes in the Emerald Graves, Cullen can find out where Samson is hiding. We need him gone. Now as far as the ball goes, I think we need to determine whom will be going. Vivienne is a must, she knows the courts better than anyone-."

"Except for Leliana and Josephine you mean." Cullen quickly added.

"Of my inner circle, you twit, it is a given the three of you will be coming along," Jacen swore under his breath, Cullen was becoming too much of a problem. Perhaps he should replace him with Michel, he certainly could do the job as well, if not better. "Now, back to as I was saying, since for some reason Varric's books are so adored, maybe he should come along as well," He paused again, "What about Dorian? He is nobility, the man would certainly fit in with those uptight ridiculous Orlesians. Any other suggestions?"

"While not as a part of your team to work there, maybe you should ask your Sister to join us as well?" Josephine spoke up, "She is well known for her adding the faithful after the Divine's death, I think she would be well received. Also, I should inform you now that you returned, that King Alistair will be there as well. Some speculate he will be there to talk about a possible marriage between him and the Empress, which of course would unite both countries. While we are considered an Orlesian organization, cementing our goodwill with Ferelden would be a strategic move on our part, whether they marry or not."

"Yes, I could see such as helping me further the cause and gather more support, plus I am sure Rina would love it. Ask Vivienne to handle her clothing, Rina must shine above all others."

Arrogant bastard, Cullen once more thought. Helping him, always about him, Maker forbid the man actually think about everyone in Thedas for more than a second.

"Milord," Michel spoke, "If I may have a moment to speak."

"Good grief, Michel, no need to ask for permission, if you wish to add anything do so." Jacen smiled, never seeing the look of annoyance on the faces of his Advisers. If one of them had interrupted, he would be down their throat, but it seemed the new pet was being coddled.

"Thank you, Ser, while I was chasing Imshael I met a very talented mage, she was a loyal Circle mage and has been in hiding helping where she could. While you have Advisers for combat, the courts and even spying, you have no one for the Arcane arts and seeing as all this began between Templar's and mages, perhaps she could be valuable with her knowledge?"

"Where is she from? What Circle, not all were kept as well as the others."

"She is from Kirkwall my Lord, and you know from your Commander that Kirkwall was held on a very tight leash."

Cullen paled at his words "Beware the maleficar" Inani had told him, she was at Kirkwall and would be coming soon.

"That sounds fantastic Michel, see it done. Now I am in need of a bath and some time alone." With that Jacen turned to leave.

"Wait!" Cullen shouted, "Uh, sorry, but Inquisitor, I have heard of a maleficar who has been causing trouble and she was from Kirkwall, we should be wary and certainly not bring someone new in as Adviser until we know more about her."

"Where did you hear such?" Michel asked.

"I, um, well through a source of mine, believe me, she knows much about mages." Cullen felt his ears tint, Maker, please don't let me blush before these two idiots.

"And exactly who is this expert and why have you never mentioned her before?" Jacen wasn't sure what to think. On one hand, Cullen was a low-bred idiot, but on the other, he was not one given for unwarranted concern either.

"I am afraid I can't tell you," When he saw Jacen's eyes darken, he quickly added, "Like with Leliana, not all sources are out in the open, but those who hide and feed us good Intel are still worth listening too."

"I know of the agent Cullen speaks of Inquisitor, she is worthy of anything she passes on through Cullen."

"Alright, we will bring this mage here and see what she knows and how she can help." Turning to Michel, he added. "Give her information to Leliana, let her prove anything you offer up is good for the Inquisition, if nothing else, it will show once more what an idiot Cullen is." With that said, Jacen chuckled and walked out of the room.

Cullen knew Leliana would be coming to see him once she was done with Michel, both to see if he remembered the mage Michel had spoken of and to find out who she was supporting him with. So when his door swung open and she made her way in, only to lock all three doors, he was not surprised.

"We have much to talk about, do we not?"

Why did Leliana always sound like someone who had just learned your dirtiest secret and was wanting to blackmail you to get all your chocolate for life?

"Ah yes, I um-ahem, yes we do." He tried to get pull himself together and not act like some teen who secretly kissed someone and-oh Maker, that brought him back to Inani and their kiss that night at Kinloch Hold, he couldn't help the blush he knew was staining his cheeks.

"My, my Commander, it must be quite the contact." Leliana's eyes were dancing with merriment now and Cullen tried hard to pull himself together.

"Leliana, seriously, let me ask you this; everyone has heard of your dreams of the Blight and that the Maker guided you to help the Wardens." He paused and looked away. "Do you think others could have such or someone could tell you a message in a dream?"

Leliana watched as those honey brown eyes seem to glow almost gold with conviction as he spoke. This was a side of the Commander she had not seen before. "Of course, what have you seen?"

"The day we spoke about Inani, the woman seen near Haven, I dreamed of her." He paused and walked back and forth for a moment gathering his thoughts. "Leliana," he swung around and locked eyes with her, "She told me to beware the maleficar who was coming and she was from Kirkwall and was out to get me and destroy the Inquisition. Then suddenly Michel shows up and knows of a female mage from Kirkwall who he wants to bring here? That is so past coincidence for me."

"I agree Commander, Cullen, truly, I believe the Maker works in any way needed to aid this world, if it has to be done through dreams, then so be it. I also do not believe in coincidences either." She smiled, "Which reminds me, the name of the mage is Nadia Vindectia, do you recognize it?"

"Sweet Maker! Yes I do," Cullen raked a hand through his hair, "She was one of the mages that, ahem, offered herself to me, to the point of bribing another Templar into letting her into my quarters. It was only due to Meredith's confidence in knowing I would never actually cross that line that I wasn't punished. I had heard after she was punished for it she became close to Samson before he was kicked out-Andraste! Inani said she found new ways to pervert lyrium too, do you think she could be working for Samson?"

"Hmm, it is possible. If she is then we need to be careful and also we can use her for our own gains, use her for more information on him as well. Which also means you can not act hostile to her, we can not have her flee if she thinks she is caught."

"Wait, what? I am not bait!"

"Hush," Leliana laughed for a moment, "I am not asking you to be so, I just mean do not be completely hateful to her you silly nug."

"And now a nug, remind me the next time I get all uppity to come see you so you can put my ego back down." Cullen snorted but grinned too. "You're an evil woman." He teased.

"Cullen, before I go, I must ask, what about Inani, do you trust her?"

"I do not know, I mean on one hand she has a funny way of showing up right before disaster hits and on the other hand she claimed to save my life in Kinloch Hold and I was the only Templar who was locked inside that lived. So, truly, I do not know," He paused and then met her gaze, "But I do know one thing, she has never lied to me. Whoever she is, she has always told me the truth and I suppose to me that makes me trust her. I imagine you can form your own opinions soon, she told me she is coming here."

"Truly? Why?"

"That she hasn't said, but it should be interesting when she does, she is rather beautiful and I am sure Jacen will want her as he does with any other beautiful woman he sees." He then smirked, "And she is not the kind of woman I think will fall for his fake charms and supposed love like the others."

"Why is that so interesting?"

"Because she could render him to ash if he tries something." He chuckled.

"Now that would be something, but tell her he must be at least breathing until the breach is sealed."

"Uh, I will let you do that, I do not want to be on her bad side thank you."

"Why Cullen, from everything I have heard so far, it sounds like bad is not the side she wishes to have you on."

With that the spymaster left, leaving Cullen blushing to his toes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is some meaning behind the female Mage Nadia Vindectia name.  
> Her first name, Nadia, means Hope in Russian. Her last name is taken from the Latin word vindicta which means revenge. So her name roughly means hoping for revenge.


	5. Dark Desires

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Warning*  
> Cullen's nightmares hint at that while caged during the Blight he was sexually assaulted by demons. I do not go into graphic details, but it states that they "use him in ways he never dreamed a man could be used". That is as much detail as there is, but I do want to point it out just to be safe for readers who such might cause triggers. I have tried to keep it as brief as possible as well and is only mentioned in one very small paragraph.

Cullen had been working for days almost nonstop trying to find Samson. His dreams had been plagued with nightmares of the man and those he once knew who had been turned into monsters by his evil doings. One, however, had hurt far more than others and that had been Carroll. Carroll had been a constant source of amusement while they served at Kinloch Hold. In fact, one night after yet another nightmare had taken him after the Wardens had freed him from his prison, Carroll had come to sit next to him and try to calm him. During which he told him about meeting the Wardens at the docks.

Cullen closed his eyes and remembered it so well.

_"So there I was on guard and this guy walks up to me and says he is a Warden and needs to get in the tower and shows me some fancy arse looking document. So I tell him '"Oh, a Grey Warden treaty! So you're supposed to be one of those. Well, I've got some papers too! They say I'm the Queen of Antiva! What do you have to say to that?"  And he quips something back all smart about Queens being female and all and I tell him, "Hey, don't talk to royalty like that!" You should have seen the look on his face Cullen. Cullen smiled, not only at the story but how Carroll flapped his arms around as he told his tale._

Cullen opened his eyes and felt tears gather in his eyes. Carroll may have started to lose his mind to Lyrium, but even with that the man was always happy and always looking for food. He chuckled at the thought, Carroll had a weakness for cookies and it was well known that he was often in trouble by the cooks for sneaking in at night and raiding any freshly made baked cookies.

"One more life that needs to be rung from your neck, Samson," Cullen swore, "One more man whose blood dripped from your hands, I will see you finished, I swear it."

Deep in his thoughts, Cullen didn't hear his door open until he heard the soft voice of Jacen's Sister asking him if he was busy and if he could spare a moment.

"Of course Milady, in fact, I could use a break," He smiled and hurriedly he cleans off the chair behind his desk, stacked with books he never seems to find time to read and gestures for her to accept the seat.

Giving him a smile, she sits and waits for him to lean against his bookcase and settle before speaking, "I know things are, well, look I know my Brother can be a jerk, growing up our two other Brothers and Sister were very cruel to him, to both of us, and he grew so resentful not being Fathers heir-."

"Milady, please, you do not need to plead for-." Cullen felt his cheeks warm, here the Inquisitor's own Sister was pleading his case, Cullen felt ashamed for the actions that would make such a graceful woman ask him to be kinder-.

"No!" She blushed at her outburst, "that wasn't what I meant. Jacen _is_ worse here. He is so much more angry and colder and, Maker forgives me, perverse. I've heard him and that Ser Michel talking about some of the women and," she blushed again and turned her head, "men here." She took a deep breath and turned back to him and he saw tears in those lovely eyes of him. "Cullen, I beg you, do not let him do such evil things, the Maker will shun his eternity."

"I, um, I don't know what to say." Cullen figured honesty was all he could offer in this situation. He watched as she stood and sweep a lock of her fiery hair behind an ear and give him a small nod. "But I will promise you this, if I can indeed help keep him on a better path, I will do what I can." He gave her an elegant (or at least as elegant as a man in full armor could do) bow.

"Thank you, Cullen, my Brother may think otherwise, but I think you are a very noble man." She blushed and with a nod of her head left his tower.

"Maker's breathe!" Cullen swore to himself, how exactly was he to help guide Jacen to do anything and ever more so, how was he suppose to protect the people of Skyhold from the Inquisitor as well?

Cullen continued to work through the day without any interruptions and after a brief meeting with Rylen decided to call it an early night. Between the stress of finding Samson, the grief over knowing the sad fate that had taken Carroll and then Rina, Cullen was emotionally exhausted.

Climbing to his loft he quickly took off his armor and after wiping each piece down placed them on the small armor stand and then stripped out of his clothing. Pouring water into the small bowl on his stand, he washed down the best he could before crawling into bed. Sighing at the pleasant feel of the cool sheets across his feverish body it didn't take long for Cullen to slip in the Fade.

_He found himself in Kinloch Hold once more and at the mercy of a Desire demon that was wearing the look of innocent Amell. Her soft sad eyes as she pouted asking him to kiss her and for one brief moment he leaned in to taste the sweetness of lips he never could touch at the time. His eyes flick open right before they meet and he sees the purple swirl in her eyes and the slight grin on her lips. Screaming, he pushed her away and dropped to his knees and pray.  
_

  _Blessed are they who stand before_  
_The corrupt and the wicked and do not falter._  
_Blessed are the peacekeepers, the champions of the just._

_Blessed are the righteous, the lights in the shadow._  
_In their blood, the Maker's will is written._

_He shakes as he is grabbed from behind. Claws rip at his armor and pull it from his body, and then the real torture begins. He is beaten and scarred and then the demons laugh and use him, use him in ways he never dreamed a man could be used. He chokes and tries to scream as tears stream down his handsome face. He begs the Maker to either save him or kill him, but he hears nothing. He relives this over and over, night after night and it only gets worse as his body fights against the loss of Lyrium. I should go back on it drifts through his tortured mind._

_"Begone," he hears a voice from behind him and watches as the demons melt away into nothing and the room around him changes into a setting he knows so well, the lake by where he grew up at._

_"Cullen, why do you return to your torture each time you sleep?" He feels her voice rush over him like a cool breeze and instantly feels the horror of his dream fade completely away._

_"It is not by choice," he responds and stands, noticing he is wearing clothing once more._

_"Cullen, you have the strength to stop them," She pauses and looks away for a moment, then turns back, "I need to tell you something Cullen, you must listen to me, please."_

_He nods his head and focuses on her, but the truth is all he can really focus on are those soft, plump lips he can't stop from wanting to claim._

_"Cullen," she laid her hand against his jaw, "you are so very handsome and desirable, but we could never have anything more than this."_

_"I know," he told her and pulling her tight to him once more, he leaned in to kiss her when he saw their surroundings shift again and this time they were in his loft at Skyhold. "Are you asking for more than a kiss Milady?" He smirked as she actually blushed and felt his heart race, what was it that made him so desperate for her?_

_"No, I simply wanted to show you that you can indeed be safe within your own room from such terrible dreams," she smiled at him and this time it was her who kissed him first. She then stopped to pull back and that was when he pulled her close to him and dipped his head to take her mouth with his. This time he was more aggressive, needier and wanting. Kissing her lips was like drinking the finest wine, it made his head spin and he needed, no he craved more, had to have more. Slanting his mouth against hers he forced her lips apart so his tongue could tangle with hers. By the time he pulled back, they both were panting._

_"Cullen, I need you to listen to me. As much as your kisses warm my heart, there is a reason I am here," She smiled at him and then looked away briefly, before turning back,"The maleficar has with her a very strange small mirror, it is a dangerous artifact she should have never found. Like the elven eluvians, but this one is much smaller and used to allow demons to come and go into this world. I think she is trying to bring the Formless One through, but I am not sure, but whatever she plans is dangerous and you especially need to be careful." She turns away from him as she spoke._

 " _I will, I promise," He replied quickly._

" _Cullen, seriously, if she brings him through he will need a body and I worry you are the target. If you were to become possessed, I-," He hears a small sob come from her and gently turns her to him once more._

_"Please Inani, do not cry, not for me, I am not worth such tears from such a beautiful woman," He tries to smile and make her feel better._

_"You are wrong Cullen," She looks up at him and frames his face with her hands, "To me, you are worth everything," She kisses him and molds her body to his as her hands slide into his hair._

_He picks her up and carries her to his bed, never breaking the kiss as he rolls her under his body. His kisses trail to her neck as he realizes she smells of lavender and crystal grace and when he nips at the skin, she arches against him perfectly._

_"I'm sorry Cullen," she whispers in his ear, but here we can never be together."_

_He watches as she begins to fade within his arms._

Cullen startles awake and panting. Maker, it had seemed so real this time, like she had physically been there and not just in a dream. It was then that he realizes his room smells of fresh flowers, the same as he had smelled on her skin. Shifting under his sheets once more, he closes his eyes and this time drifts off to dream of being a child with his siblings, of Mia chasing him with a rolling pin when he ate half of the cookies she had just made.

His room is quiet and nothing moves and for once if someone were to look in on the Commander in his sleep they would see an easy smile on his lips as a soft barely noticed laugh slips past it.


	6. The Maleficar

Cullen remembered Nadia Vindectia well. She was a small woman, thin and graceful with pale hair that hung to her hips. He remembered many of the Templar's had commented on her looks and while she was indeed a pretty woman, she was not the gorgeous creature many of the other men thought. He had only spoken to her long enough to inform her he was the Knight-Captain and that unlike many circles, Kirkwall followed the Templar rules strictly.

It had been several days before the woman had bribed a fellow Templar for access to his room. That day had been rough on Cullen, he had learned one of the missing recruit's had left for the Wounded Coast and he had followed only to be found my Hawke and his friends as the recruit had turned into a demon. While Hawke had agreed to help, Cullen had come back to inform Meredith of what happened. To say by night he was exhausted was an understatement. So when he opened the door to his private quarters to find Nadia waiting within and naked to boot, Cullen had his temper break and lost his cool. 

The biggest shock was that Meredith wrath had been directed at his fellow Templar more than the mage. The poor kid was stripped of his rank and sent off to solitary confinement for two months to think about his actions. Cullen expected the mage to be made tranquil, but for whatever reason, it may have been, Meredith had simply given her solitary confinement for a year and ordered her to read chantry works daily. He had completely forgotten about her until a few years later when he heard her and Samson had become regular lovers. Before he could inform Meredith however, Samson had been kicked out of the order and he felt with Samson gone he had no reason to even mention it to his Knight-Commander.

Seeing her walk to him, he had to admit that she had certainly become lovelier than he ever remembered, but still, she was far from the elegant beauty of Jacen's Sister Rina or even more so a woman like Inani.

Knight-Captain Cullen, it is nice to see you once more," She murmured, extending her hand for him to kiss like she was some Noblewoman.

"I am no longer a member of the Templar order, I hope you will enjoy your time at Skyhold," He gave her a small smile.

"Indeed, as I do," She purred and Cullen wondered if history would be trying to repeat itself. Maker, he prayed in his head, don't give the woman any ideas.

With that, she turned to Trevelyan and Cullen, gratefully, was able to leave unnoticed. Grumbling to himself, he headed to the tavern for a drink. Entering the building, he never made it to the bar before being called to a table where Rylen and several others seating.

"Cullen get your arse over here and have a drink!" Bellowed Bull as he slammed his giant mug on the table. Laughing in spite of himself, Cullen took a seat and a mug of Ale being passed to him.

"So Curly, what do you think of our new guest?" Rylen asked, knowing full well Cullen and her history as he had told the man one night at Haven as they sat and drank together.

"Yes, well all I can say is I pray to the Maker this meeting goes better than the first I met the woman."

"Oh," Varric asked, "Why is that?"

"Because the first time, she bribed her way into Cullen's chambers and waited for him naked in his bed," Rylen couldn't keep a straight face and dissolved into laughter.

"You're shitting me!" Bull slapped the table and all there laughed, even more so when they noticed the blush rising on Cullen's face.

"Poor Cullen," Dorian cooed, "Doesn't know what to do with a naked-."

"Hey now, I never said I didn't know, I just prefer women who are not harlots in their hearts."

"Cullen has enough dignity to not chase loose women, that is not a bad thing," Cassandra said as she joined them.

"Nothing wrong with a loose woman, or man," Bull laughed, "But even I will admit a good challenge is worth so much more in the end."

Cullen was shocked when he saw a small blush stain Cassandra's cheeks. Was the giant Qunari trying to bed the Seeker? Now that would certainly be interesting and couldn't help the small chuckled that bubbled up from his throat, bringing a scowl to the Seeker as she obviously guessed why he laughed.

Soon Varric pulled out a deck of cards and it wasn't long before they were playing wicked grace. Cullen had never been one for social gatherings and such, but he had come to enjoy the nights they all met up at the tavern for a few drinks and cards. They finished their game with Cullen losing every coin he had on him, not that he was surprised, Cullen was terrible at cards. While Varric tried to get them to go for another round, Dorian and Rylen had decided to call it a night soon, not that Cullen was surprised considering the two men we spending more time kissing then they were playing cards.

"So Cullen, going to ask someone to check your quarters for you tonight?"

Cullen laughed, "Not a bad idea, but no, I handle it once and I am sure I can again."

"You know Curly, it wouldn't kill you to relax, get laid, act human," Varric wiggled his eyebrows emphasizing his words.

"No thanks, if I want a woman in my bed, I prefer one of my own choosing." And that would never be Nadia he thought to himself.

"I can't imagine with all the women at Skyhold there isn't someone here that peaks your interest?"

Cullen sat and thought for a moment on Varric's word. The problem was he did indeed find a woman he desired greatly, but she was neither here nor his to have. How was he to want someone else when plush full lips lingered in his dreams and perfection had purred her desire within his arms?

"Perhaps Cullen has his eye on someone and it isn't an easy conquest," Bull chimed in while looking directly at Cassandra, "Sometimes the ones you have to work for are worth the wait."

Well, Cullen thought, that certainly confirms that.

"He is probably safe tonight anyway," Rylen said, finally pulling his lips from his lover, "I imagine Trevelyan will have her, far be it for any pretty woman to escape his grasp, other than our Seeker and Advisers."

"That's mostly due to the fact that he knows Leliana would poison him and Josephine would ruin him publicly and shame him before all Thedas," Cassandra told them.

"And you Seeker?" Varric asked.

"Simple, I would cut off every piece of his body he might like to have still attached to him." She laughed with everyone else joining in before they all called it a night.

As Cullen walked back to his tower he was reminded of Inani's warnings. Perhaps tomorrow he could get a chance to look through Nadia's room and see if he could find the mirror Inani had mentioned. Of course, if he did find it, what was he to do with it? Just secure it till Inani got there? And when would that be, he wondered? If she came to him once more in his dreams he would need to ask her such.

Climbing the ladder to his loft, he was relieved to find his bed empty and for the first time since meeting Jacen Trevelyan, he was thankful for the man and keeping Nadia occupied.


	7. Insulting a Ferelden

Michel had been down to the camps when he heard a loud crash. Turning toward the sound he was surprised to find Cullen, Rylen, Dorian watching as Rina shot arrows at pottery. He hadn't really thought of Rina as anything more than a lovely woman that set delicately on the side to be admired like most Noblewomen were, so he was surprised to see her dressed in a split skirt and plain shirt, holding bow. Walking over to them he found them laughing at something that caused Rina to blush.

"Milady, aren't just full of surprises," he chuckled and noticed the three men frowned at him as they stood behind her while she turned to him. He was well aware of the fact that neither Cullen or Rylen thought much of him, but the only person here whom he wished for their approval was that of Trevelyan, although Rina's approval might also be a nice added treat.

"Ser Michel," She smiled, "My Mother firmly believed all women should be able to defend themselves if needed. She remembered growing up hearing of a family who with the men away from the Mother and her Daughter, may the Maker hold their souls, were killed when bandits came raiding. As such, she was determined her own daughters were never left defenseless. While my Sisters never quite grasped anything more than how to defend themselves with a small dagger or even their sewing shears, I enjoyed the bow very much."

"Yes, and as such, she is now several pieces of gold richer from all of us," Dorian chuckled.

"It is your own fault," She smiled, "I told all three of you I was far from helpless."

"You never cease to surprise me Milady," Cullen gave her a slight bow and a chuckle, "Who knew behind such a lovely face was a wicked warrior?"

"I thought men prefer their women a bit wicked?" She winked at Cullen and gave him a soft smile.

"Ah, Milady you need to be among the courts of Orlais, such beauty, charm and a wicked humor are well appreciated there!"

"No thank you Ser, the Orlesian court is a cesspool, I have read much about Celene's Cour d'amour, which is simply an excuse for Chevaliers, bards, and Nobles to sleep together without the guilt of actually cheating on their spouses. If I were to go to any court it would be Ferelden's."

"Milady, you wound me," Michel placed one hand over his heart, "Ferelden smells like dogs and has no grand court!"

"No, but they have something no other court anywhere has?"

"And what could that possibly be?"

"Why, King Alistair of course!" She smiled as the three men with her laughed.

"What is so wonderful there?" Michel asked, "He is a bastard who used the Blight to take the throne from its rightful Queen."

"Now wait just a damn moment," Cullen stepped in, no way he was going to let some Orlesian flop insult his King or country.

"Because" Rina placed her hand on Cullen's to stop him, "He is strong, kind and the most important thing of all, the most handsome man ever to walk this world." She winked at Cullen, causing him to laugh. "You Chevaliers may think you are the bravest or strongest warriors, but none compare to the man who killed the Archdemon in one single blow with his sword!" She gave a heartfelt sigh, "Unlike most royals, he trains with his troops every day and still partakes in tourneys too. They say there is none who can defeat him in jousting. What a man, even if Ferelden was the most horrid country in all of Thedas, any court with him would be incomparable!"

"Sounds like you have a bit of a crush, my dear lady." Dorian chuckled and even more so when Rina blushed.

"He is supposed to be at Halamshiral when we go," Rylen told her, "Perhaps you will get a chance to meet him in person, I am sure your Brother will meet with him at some point."

"Perhaps, but I am a nobody, even as Jacen's Sister, we are not a well-known family."

"Well, I see you would indeed fit better with Ferelden after all," Michel scowled, "Obviously you know nothing about class nor nobility."

Before Michel could turn to walk away he found Cullen's fist in his face. "You son of a bitch, apologize to her now!"

"As if I would." Came the curt reply.

It was then that the fight went full force. Michel soon found that while he might not consider Fereldens to be equal to Orlesians, there was one thing he found he could not compare with. Cullen was like a stone wall, no matter how many punches he threw, it was as if he was punching the air, although he knew he was making contact, for each punch delivered, Cullen pounded even harder.

Finally falling to the ground, Rylen and Dorian were able to pull Cullen from the bloody man barely able to move. It was at this time Jacen appeared after one of the young boys they used for messages had found him and told him of the fight.

"Cullen, how dare you!" Jacen roared, "Michel is my second, you best have a damn good-."

"Jacen," Rina interrupted, "Michel insulted me and Cullen defended me."

"What?" All could see Jacen's face darken with anger. "You insulted my Sister?"

"No, I mean somewhat, but she-." Michel didn't get to finish before Jacen punched him and broke the man's nose.

"Remove him to the lower camps," Jacen bellowed at a soldier, then turning back to Michel, "You will not be allowed into Skyhold again until I say otherwise, but leave the camps and I will hunt you down."

After Jacen left with Rina and the soldier helped Michel limp away, Rylen and Dorian laughed while clamping Cullen on his shoulder.

"Cullen, I envy you!" Rylen laughed, "I would have given anything to punch that pretty boy in the mouth!"

"Yes, well at least we won't have to deal with him for awhile." Cullen laughed.

"Come on you brute, let's get that hand looked at, wouldn't wanting any scars now would you?" Dorian grabbed Cullen's hand to look at the cuts and bruises on his knuckles.

"I don't know," He laughed, "I think scars from beating on Orlesians quite nice."

They all laughed as they made their way back to the keep, it was certainly a unique way to start the day. One could only guess what could come next.

Later that night Cullen found out exactly how many Fereldens were at Skyhold and even more so in the tavern waiting for him. As soon as he pushed through the door, he heard people jumping up from chairs and shout out "For Ferelden!" as mugs were raised and then followed by, "Cullen!"

Cullen smiled and laughed as a mug was put in his hand and raising it said to all, "King Alistair!"

Everyone cheered even more, for later Cullen would find that as Rylen spread the story through the camp that Cullen had hit Michel over two things, defending the Lady Rina's honor and that of his King.  He also found that many of the Orlesian troops also were cheering him due to Michel's crass words to a Lady as well. Orlesians liked to believe that when it came to war and love, the Chevaliers was the epitome of honor and as such would never disgrace a lady, especially one as well-loved as Rina was.

Cullen took a seat next to Bull and Krem and quickly was joined by Varric, Dorian, and Rylen too.

"You know Curly, I may have to put this in my next novel."

"Well, as long as the character is dashingly handsome," Cullen laughed as well as his friends.

"So Cullen," Bull leaned over and patted him on his back,"Does this mean you're sweet on Rina? She is a rather beautiful lady after all."

Cullen stopped for a minute and let the words sink in. Rina was a very beautiful woman, there was no doubt anyone could not think so, but anything more? Cullen was a commoner and she was a fine Lady, worthy of a much better man than he. Then he realized something else, while he and Inani had very little actual interaction between them if he were to give his affection to any lady, well she would be it. It was more than her just being beautiful, more than the fact that every time he saw he wanted to kiss her too. She was the only woman who truly knew exactly what had been done to him in that cage at Kinloch Hold, knew his weaknesses that plagued his dreams, knew every regret he held inside him and yet always looked at him as if he were an unbroken man, someone worthy to love. No, Rina could never be in his heart for he realized at that moment his heart was already full.


	8. A Formal Affair

While the reason for going to the Winter Palace was grave, Cullen couldn't help but laugh at Rina's non-stop excitement as the day got closer and closer. Anywhere you saw her at Skyhold she was bubbling with her glee and all found her excitement infectious. Yet as much as her happiness made Cullen smile, deep inside he was worried. He had tried and tried to contact Inani within his dreams and so far had no luck. He had found nothing searching Nadia's rooms and so far the woman had avoided him, something he was immensely grateful for. If she was indeed the maleficar Inani had warned him about, she was hiding well.

The ride from Skyhold to the Winter Palace was long and tiring, but he found himself enjoying the conversation with Rina as she refused to ride in a carriage like most noblewomen did. She told him that her Father had bred warhorses up until his death and then her elder Brother took over the farm and continued on with it. Her Father, he learned, had doted on his youngest child and taught her to ride at a very young age. As she grew, she loved riding with him for hours and often when he was worried, or stressed, they would ride to ease his worries.

"Milady continues to be full of surprises," He smiled and even more so as she smiled, winked and laughed at his words.

Arriving at the palace, the Inquisition had only one night to go over their plans prior to the peace talks. However, everyone knew their job, what had to be accomplished and the stakes if they did not succeed. Cullen and Rylen stayed up late that night, finalizing their strategy for the troops and relaxing companionship since neither could sleep.

"You know Cullen," Rylen turned toward his friend, "rumor has it that you're sweet on Rina? Any truth?"

"Didn't we discuss this the other night at the tavern?"

"Bull asked and you never replied, hence the rumor is what it is."

"Well, sorry to say I do not have any intentions toward the lady," Cullen laughed at the sly look Rylen gave him that, "No I am not being coy or anything else. Rina is a beautiful lady and Maker knows she is a good-hearted woman as there ever could be, but while I admire her, I do not have any feelings for her."

"Well damnation," Rylen swore," Dorian was right again, Maker I need to stop making bets with him, at this rate I won't have a damn coin to my name."

"Serves you right for betting on such things. You served in a Circle, didn't your Commander warn you about betting? I know as Knight-Captain I certainly did our Templars."

"Ha! My Knight-Commander was the worse of us all. The man came from a family that was filthy rich and still held power in his family. The man was a notorious gambler."

"I could just imagine Meredith dicing," Cullen chuckled,"Maker, what a sight that would have been!"

"So Cullen, if not Rina, who are you sweet on? There has to be someone and if not there should be." Rylen refilled his mug of ale and did the same for Cullen, "while I pray to the Maker we find a way to stop all this madness, it is possible we will fail and should we, I wouldn't wait to find love." Rylen reached over and laid his hand on Cullen's arm, "It's hard sometimes to think of this world gone all these people gone, but when I look at Dorian, I think about if he was lost and it tears my heart, so I fight for one more day to be by his side, for one more loving moment holding him and it makes me fight to win."

Cullen smiled and told Rylen he was happy he found that person for him, but for now, he could only do as he was and hope one day to find such as well.

Calling it a night, they went to find their beds and hoped they could get a few hours rest while they could.

The next night everything was set in motion and one could only hope for that at the end the right people would end up in control. Cullen was pulled aside by Jacen and informed that seeing as Rylen was there to help him, Jacen was charging Cullen with keeping an eye on his Sister. Which after a few hours of boredom for the both of them, the night took an interesting twist, starting with a reunion that surprised Cullen greatly and another that damn near stopped his heart.

"Cullen Rutherford! Small world."

Cullen turned to see who was calling to him and felt his jaw go slack.

"Glad to know it is still a shock to see me," Came a strong Ferelden accent. "Only hopefully this one will not require you begging to kill everyone."

"Your Majesty," Cullen bowed, "I-."

"Maker, please, just Alistair. I have heard enough Majesty, My Lord and other nonsense to last a lifetime, or two." Giving him a grin, Alistair then asked who Cullen was standing with.

If Cullen had a hard time speaking to Alistair, then Rina was an almost impossibility.

"So the Inquisitor not only has a Sister but a lovely one at that." Alistair smiled.

"I believe you have a weakness for redheads Alistair." Rina couldn't help but blush at Leliana's words as she joined them.

"Leliana, I figured you would be lurking around somewhere," Alistair grinned and actually hugged the Bard he once traveled with."You wicked woman, what have you been doing with yourself?"

"Oh you know, spying for the Inquisition, singing lovely tunes, taking notes on who to poison."

"So in other words, nothing has changed at all," Alistair couldn't help but laugh, Leliana had always made him smile. "I believe it is time for me to enjoy a dance," Turning to Rina, he extended a hand and escorted the blushing woman to the dance floor.

"Well, that is interesting," Leliana told Cullen.

"Poor Rina, did you see her? She looked like she was ready to self-combust with being so close to him, let alone dancing." Cullen couldn't help but chuckle.

"Yes, she is quite adorable and honestly who could blame her, Alistair is a very handsome man."

"What do you think of the talk of a marriage between him and Celene?" Cullen asked her.

"Never will happen. Alistair is far too kind and would never marry a woman he didn't love. Arl Eamon had wanted him to marry Anora and he refused. So no, Alistair will not marry Celene or anyone else that is not a love match."

Cullen looked at where Alistair now danced with Rina. He sported a large grin while she blushed charmingly at whatever Alistair had told her. Leliana and he didn't notice when Jacen joined them until he asked them why his Sister was dancing with the King of Ferelden. They were both shocked at the anger in his voice, figuring he would be happy his own Sister was the first person to partner with the well-loved King.

"Are you crazy?" Jacen roared at Cullen, "He is a bastard born and for that matter, nothing has even proven he is even Maric's son. If Rina was dancing with an Orlesian or even royalty from anywhere else, but that man is not even worth breathing in my Sister's direction. Maker, look at them," He swore under his breath something Cullen couldn't make out before continuing his rant, "That bastard," He sneered, "Is not low-bred and shouldn't even be sharing this palace with my Sister."  
  
"But Rina is positively beaming." Leliana pointed out.

"I have had enough!" Jacen roared and marched toward the dance floor with both Cullen and Leliana trying to stop him before he did something irreparable.

They didn't have to chase him far, however, as he stopped and stared at a woman now entering the room, waiting to be announced.

Cullen turned to gaze in the same direction Jacen was and saw a woman standing at the top of the stairs. She was elegant looking with raven hair piled high on her head and her dress was a statement all on its own. It was in black and white, off her shoulder and split in the front down to the navel with only black lace covering her ample cleavage. Tight in all the right spots, it was a shape any man would like to covet for his own. When she finally came close enough to see her face, Cullen heard the last name he would have ever guessed to hear announced.

"Milady Scipio, daughter of the late Magister Edwin Scipio of Minrathous."

Cullen couldn't break his gaze from her as she walked to them, even when she stopped and stood before him, he found himself at lost for words and only vaguely heard Trevelyan introducing himself. It was at that moment when he saw Jacen take her hand and bend to kiss her elegant fingers that Cullen felt something inside him shatter.

"What a warm welcome, Inquisitor," She smiled as she turned to Cullen, "Hello, Cullen Rutherford-." She began to murmur.

She was speaking and he thought he heard Jacen answering her and asking how she knew Cullen. He ran his tongue along his lips and without thinking, pulled her into his arms and kissed her with all the passion, emotions and feelings he had inside him.


	9. His Lady

What a night had it been, Cullen thought as he finally made it back to his room. Celene had been saved, Florianne was dead, Gaspard leashed and the Inquisitions influence welcomed into the heart of Orlesian politics. However, it was all the other things that happened that had his head still spinning. Alistair spent the entire night dancing with Rina and no one else, much to Jacen's horror and when there was no more dancing he invited her to a very private dinner, leaving the Inquisitor angry, but powerless to do anything. Of course, nothing compared to the arrival of Inani. Besides the fact she was utterly gorgeous, which caused most men to gasp in shock, comment or stare, but for what it meant for her to be there.

He had answered questions from Jacen for some time, especially when she told him she would be coming to Skyhold when they left, but finally, he had managed to escape and head to his room. Shucking out of his jacket, sash, and shirt the moment he entered his room, it wasn't until he got off his boots and into his sleeping breeches before he noticed someone standing on the room's private balcony.

It didn't shock him that she would be waiting for him, but it also shouldn't of _thrilled_ him so much that she was either. She wasn't here for him or even for _that_ , most likely she was here to discuss her cryptic warnings and the Inquisition, but no one could fault him for thinking other things.

She was wearing a lovely blood red grown that instead of the tease the other gown provided under its lace, this one was skin tight and up to her neck, leaving only her arms and her back bare. Her jewelry and hair were perfect as always and he had no doubt that even if she was wearing a beggers ratted clothing she would still be elegant.

"Cullen," she smiled as his name rolls off her lips like sin and he wondered if she knew what kind of reaction she was having on him? "It has been some time since we have seen each other face to face."

He felt his heart beating faster as he walked to her and stopped so close to her he could smell the lavender and crystal grace scent she always seemed to carry. He smiled as she turned her face up to him and he once more saw those strange green eyes that haunted his thoughts for so very long. He watched the slight blush that crept across her cheeks and somehow it made him happy to know he was the cause of it.

Leaning down he whispered her name against the shell of her ear, "Inaniene."

She could only shiver hearing her true name, one she hadn't heard in what seemed like an eternity, in that deep husky accent of his. Looking up into those beautiful golden eyes, she saw once more the spirit she had seen all those years ago when he was but a young man. The years had certainly been kind to him, he was a very sweet boy who had matured into a very handsome man. She was about to speak, but as soon as her lips parted, he was kissing her once more, but unlike the one they shared earlier, this one was deep and passionate. She had so much to tell him, things to warn him about and things to ask his help with, but for one second the woman she was, the role she had been forced to play, all of it was gone and for this one moment, she was simply a woman who had a handsome man wanting nothing more than to hold her and kiss her.

She sighed as he pulled her firmly against him and nuzzled her ear, the whole time her name falling from his mouth like some divine being he was offering up his prayers too and for the first time in her life, Inani felt the stirrings of love, the need for such, the desire for such and while that thought scared her, the man whose arms she was now wrapped up in made her want to dare the world to try and take it from her.

This was dangerous.

This was not what her mission demanded.

This was not the role she had been created to play.

But he was so much more than a mere mission, so much more than anything Vicorea could have forced onto her child as a burden and curse to suffer under. This was more and she wanted it all. Yet, even with that thought her mind once more told her what he felt wasn't real, it was only her curse and with that thought in mind, she slowly pulled from his arms, no matter how much her heart screamed at her. Her emotions were getting stronger to ignore, she had to finish her mission before she was completely lost to them.

"Cullen, it isn't that I don't-."

Cullen forced himself to remain emotionless, forced himself to be in control and not show what her refusal was doing to him inside. "It is fine, I, well, I shouldn't take what isn't mine." He chuckled, trying to make a joke to comfort them both, knowing it was empty and not likely to work. "What brings you here?" He asks while pulling a fresh linen tunic over his head that had laid on the edge of his bed.

"Cullen," She paused and saw the pain in his eyes. I caused this she thought. This beautiful soul who has been hurt for so long and I add to his pain, she was ashamed of herself." I must warn you, you are in grave danger and the spell I once used to protect your life, it's, well truthfully it's hard to explain."

She smiled at him and Cullen felt his heart breaking. When had he fallen in love with her, he asked himself? He knew the truth, as silly and immature as it was, it was the moment he saw her, even before their shared kiss. It was that moment he saw her being led past him at Kinloch Hold. She had been blindfolded, yet something had taken him and claimed him as her own, as odd as that sounded, he knew it to be true.

"Try me," He smiled.

"First, please understand, where I come from-."

"Tevinter? Yes, I am aware of their views on magic."

"No, I, Inaniene, am not from Tevinter. I know this sounds crazy, but Claudia Scipio was dying, there was nothing anyone could do to save her, although her Father tried everything and I do mean everything. Countless innocent souls died in that house as he tried magic that is beyond description. I heard her sobbing within the Fade and saw she was afraid her magic would deny her soul to move on to the Maker's realm. I came to her and told her if she would give up her body for me, I would make sure she moved on to find peace. She agreed."

"Wait, you're an abomination?" Cullen felt stunned.

"No, for I am no demon nor even a spirit. I lived once, you saw such in one of my memories accidentally. You saw our last stand against the Dark Ones. I died in that battle, but my soul was caught until I finished my mission. I have never taken a person body unwillingly, nor can any person do so, for a body cannot be taken by force. Same with Claudia, but each body I am reborn to, the human emotions become stronger. When I gave you my protection, the emotions linked us. It's how I knew you were hurting and why I came to Kirkwall to be sure you were alright. I could have gone straight to Sundermount, but I was headed to Kirkwall when I met you on the coast. Since you have joined the Inquisition, I have felt evil coming closer to you, it's why I asked your leader to let me join you, so I can protect you." She turned away from him and spoke with a small sob in her voice." These emotions I feel, I don't understand, but I know I would die inside if I allowed harm to come to you."

"Inaniene," He barely whispered against her skin as he moved to hold her with her back to his chest, "I will never allow you harm either and I welcome you here so I can better protect you, now how can I help you?"

She turned in his arms and they silently stood there looking at each other.

I love you, Maker, do I ever love and need you too, he thought, yet he knew he couldn't say that, so instead he would give her the only thing he knew she would accept from him, his help, and hold close that one day he could openly give her his heart and she would accept it.


	10. The King's Request

As they traveled back to Skyhold, Cullen was glad to see for once Trevelyan was put in his place and forced to accept the will of another. Riding toward the back of their party with Inani and Rina, Cullen was treated to Rina's excited ramblings about King Alistair coming to Skyhold within a week's time. He already heard from Trevelyan the fit over it and knowing such made her ramblings so much more enjoyable.

King Alistair, along with his companion Fergus Cousland and his court enchanter Jowan (a mage Cullen knew well!) would be coming to Skyhold to visit and cement an alliance between Ferelden and the Inquisition. Of course, the part Rina didn't know was the Alistair was all too aware of Jacen's hatred and told him plainly, Rina would be there or Alistair would declare Ferelden an enemy of the Inquisition. King Alistair intended to spend more time with the lovely Rina and Jacen would either accept it nicely or have it forced down his throat. Cullen had a hard time controlling his laughter as Jacen told his advisers of such. It would seem that when the light-hearted King found something he liked, he could be very forceful against anything he felt was in his way.

Most of the ride was spent with Cullen telling both Inani and Rina all he knew about the King, Alistair's closest friend Fergus, and the once murderous Apostate Jowan who now held a powerful position in Ferelden. He mentioned how the Chantry, as well as the Templars, had demanded Alistair turn Jowan over to the Circle, but he had refused them. Jowan may have tried to poison Arl Eamon, but it was by Loghain's orders and in the end, he helped proved Loghain's traitorous actions and he had gone into the Fade himself to save the Arl's son, redeeming himself in Alistair's eyes. Alistair was also aware of the fact that in doing such, Jowan would be loyal and that loyalty was unbreakable to him and him alone for saving him from either death or tranquility. Cullen had to give the King credit, in a time where those closest to royalty could be bought off by an enemy or an assassin, Alistair surrounded himself with those who would die before betraying him. Those closest to the King, were the Jowan and Fergus Cousland, the Brother of the Hero of Ferelden, Aedan. Aedan had served as the Ferelden Warden Commander for years before he disappeared, stopping only briefly to speak with the King, before heading west, his destination unknown.

Cullen had also learned that Morrigan, the mage Celene kept close to her and now sent as her representative to the Inquisition, had not only traveled with Aedan and Alistair as the fought the Blight, but her own child was Aedan's son. It would be the first time the boy would meet his Father's beloved Brother. He couldn't be sure, as Morrigan was certainly a hard woman to read, but he would guess she also looked forward to meeting him as well.

It wasn't long that Morrigan had joined their small discussion, later that day and he had to smile to himself as she tried to prove her intellectual superiority to Inani in matters of the Arcane. As graceful as she always was, Inani soon proved that she was indeed well versed in things Morrigan never dreamed of knowing and somehow an odd truce had been laid before them and the beginnings of perhaps even friendship were starting. Of course, who could truly say? The dark-haired witch was a mystery to all.

That night as they made camp, Cullen found his anger at Jacen growing as the man obviously was trying to entice Inani into his tent for the night. Not that he could fault him his logic, Maker knew the woman was gorgeous and a feast to look at, but the idea of him touching her made his blood boil. He was the one who loved her, not the Inquisitor if anyone should-, no, he stopped himself, thinking of her in such terms was wrong, he respected her far too much to reduce her in terms of ownership.

Stalking off to his tent, Cullen quickly stripped down to his linen breeches and crawled into his makeshift bed for the night. For being a temporary camp, Cullen had to give his men credit, the linen stuffed mattress with blankets and furs was a comfy spot to sleep. Rolling to his side, he tried to settle into a deep sleep.

Cullen wasn't sure how long he had slept before feeling someone tapping him on the shoulder. Rolling over with a groggy yawn, he slowly opened his eyes to see Inani sitting on his bed.

"Inani?" He tried to wake himself up more, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I'm just freezing and wondered if you didn't mind if I shared some of your lyrium fever." She chuckled and Cullen smiled while wondering if this was some sort of punishment by the Maker.

Scooting over, he pulled back the blanket and let her crawl in. Laying on his side, he pulled her into his arms and gave her a small laugh as she shivered. "No worries, in a few minutes you will be toasty. Perks for knowing someone going through withdrawals."

"I never expected to need such," her teeth chattering between words, "but this place is freezing."

Cullen couldn't help the sigh that left his body when she finally got comfortable. She felt wonderful. She was small enough he could hold her tight and fit her right under his chin, almost like she was made for him alone.

She groaned and told him he was perfect and he couldn't help how his heart soared at her words. Realizing she had fallen asleep, he snuggled closer still and drifted off to sleep and for once he felt peace and no nightmares would plague him.

It was just beginning to get light when Cullen woke up. In the course of the night, she had wiggled around until she was turned around and facing him. Her lips against his neck, one leg arched up and thrown over his, Maker, he wasn't sure how much more restraint he would be able to summon if he was going to wind up in situations like this with her. Maker, a man could only handle so much.

Trying to disentangle himself from her as gentlemanly as possible and hopefully without waking her as well, but soon found it wasn't possible when he heard a small snort slip past her lips before opening her eyes. As much as he didn't want to, he found himself chuckling at the noise.

"Someone is a grouch in the morning," He smiled and bending his golden head he rubbed his nose against hers.

"Eh, I have never been a fan of early mornings." She wrinkled her nose, causing Cullen to laugh until he noticed her eyes had a slight glow to them once more.

"Who are you truly Inani? One minute you make me think you are a savior and the next you almost frighten me with your strange eyes."

"Cullen, I, I wish I could answer you, wish I could tell you about who I truly am," She lowered her eyes and when she raised them once more they were back to their normal green, "But know this Cullen, I would face the cold dark eternity of the void, before I would see you harmed."

Cullen smiled and felt his heart lurch at her words, "Inani," He bent his head and kissed her lightly, "I vow the same to you, I swear it upon the Maker, I will never allow you to come to harm so long as I breathe."

After dressing and getting their gear together, they began to help pack up the camp and Cullen laughed whenever he tried to keep her from lifting too heavy of items, only for her to show that she was quite strong on her own. Dorian and Rylen teased him about which was the muscle in their relationship and which was the sweet one.

"Curly of course," Varric added, "We all know he is only here to look pretty and for nothing else."

Cullen blushed but laughed with the rest. So focused on the laughter and companionship, none of them caught the hate that flashed in Jacen Trevelyan eyes.


	11. The Emotions We Feel

_The power of the Inquisition was secured within Orlais. With Empress Celene's life, and more importantly her crown, saved, Inquisitor Trevelyan stood united with one of the greatest forces within Thedas. There was no stopping him in his bid to unite the world of Thedas and strike down the threat of Corypheus. Every day hundreds came to join his cause and soon the Inquisition would be a force unlike any other seen in Thedas before.  
_

Varric paused and looked at the last page he had written since returning to Skyhold. He knew this book would be a best seller, but he truly wasn't sure that portraying the Inquisitor in such a positive way was really a good thing. With Hawke, it had been a bit different. Hawke was a royal pain in the arse and would do damn near anything if the coin was right, but he still did the right thing in the end. Maybe his motivations were a bit questionable, and Maker knew he could be difficult, but he really wasn't a bad person.

Jacen Trevelyan, however, was a bad person and more. Since returning from the Winter Palace, the man was even more full of himself. Before he just expected everyone to fall to their knees and worship him, now? Now he wanted to stand on their backs while they worshiped him. He had also found it in his heart to forgive Michel and once again the two men were inseparable, much to the horror of many of the women, as well as a few young men, there since it was not uncommon for both men to share their conquests together.

It all came to a head one night when Trevelyan had drunk far too much and Dorian had mouthed off equally as much. Everyone had warned Dorian to be quiet. Rylen had begged his love to not push Trevelyan, but Dorian refused to listen. Fed up over Trevelyan hurting a young mage Dorian had spent much time speaking with, he was livid when the man had to spend the night with the healers in order to return to his work the next day. Calling him a barbaric lowlander who obviously learned his sexual finesse by raping goats, Trevelyan had punched Dorian prior to stalking out of the tavern. Everyone knew Trevelyan would exact his revenge on the man and that the punch had only been a mild release compared to what would come, be it the next day or week, he would punish Dorian. However, when King Alistair arrived a few days later, most believed Dorian was safe, however, even if it was naive to do so.

Most were shocked over the size of the party, which seemed like what one would expect for a traveling nobleman, not the King of a nation. Of course, the man was also a skillful warrior who to this day still trained daily with his troops, unlike most royalty or heck even nobles honestly. He brought with him only a small group of maybe twenty soldiers, as well as both Fergus and Jowan. Cullen wasn't sure how he was supposed to greet Jowan truthfully. The man was a known maleficar, which he himself admitted. However, he was also a key witness to Loghain's betrayal and the one who saved the young son of Arl Eamon from the possession of a Desire Demon. Cullen took a deep breath before heading down to meet them and realized if anyone knew that redemption from prior sins was possible, he did and just as he had been given a chance to rise above his past to be a better man, well who was he not to allow another to do such as well?

"Commander Cullen!" He smiled as he heard the King calling out to him. "Late to meeting your King, should you be punished?"

"My King, I hope you can forgive this unworthy servant," Cullen couldn't help the smirk that lingered even after he gave an over the top bow. Standing straight both men laughed as the shook hands.

"Ha! A true Ferelden, showing no fear in the face of royalty, good for you." Cullen grinned even more so at his words. Alistair may indeed be King, but he had never forgotten he was raised as a simple Ferelden and not royalty, which had earned him the fierce loyalty of His people. He was known for sneaking away from the Palace to drink at the local taverns as well as paying everyone's tab from time to time. More than anything, it was well known he worked from sunup to sundown right beside his people to rebuild Denerim after the Blight, showing he was indeed a good man who wanted to see Ferelden grow and prosper. Yes, King Alistair was a hard man not to respect and love.

"It is good to see you too."

"Here, this is Fergus Coulsand, elder Brother to Aedan and I am sure you remember Jowan." Cullen could see the mischief in Alistair's eyes.

"Yes I do," and turning to Jowan he extended his hand, "It's good to see you again."

"I, um, thank you, Ser Cullen," Jowan had been dreading this since learning Cullen was a part of the Inquisition.

"I am no longer a Templar and you are no longer a Circle Mage Jowan, I think the past should stay there and today begin anew," Cullen smiled and shook his hand.

"Thank you, Cullen. I am not fond of the past and try to be a better man today."

"As do we all," Cullen mused, "As do we all."

"So where is the lovely Rina?" Alistair asked, "I had hoped she would be here to greet me. Or even the Inquisitor?"

"I am afraid, she is in the infirmary with the orphan children and not even a King can interrupt that." Leliana chuckled as she joined the same group. "Trevelyan left the day before for the coast on a report of a large group of Red Templar's, he should be gone for sometime, leaving you alone with his Sister in his place," The Bard grinned and laughed as the King smiled knowing he would not have to contend with the annoying and rude man.

"Ah, as if more could not endear her to my heart," he paused and grinned, "And the lack of her Brother is even better," he winked causing all to laugh.

The men walked toward the infirmary until Alistair stopped and stared at the woman walking to them. While he considered Rina to be the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, this woman was certainly captivating in her own unique way. Yet, something about her made him nervous and it wasn't until she stood before them that he figured out what it was. Her eyes were a strange shade of green and he could tell that unlike most, being introduced to royalty had no effect on her. She held herself proudly and as anyone's equal. While Alistair did not like the constant bowing and cowing most did before royalty, her indifference made him uneasy.

"Alistair, Fergus, and Jowan, allow me to introduce you to the Lady Inaniene Scipio," Cullen hated the sound of possessiveness in his voice, but he had seen the way Fergus' hungry eyes washed over her form and felt jealousy overtake him.

"A pleasure Milady," Alistair took her outstretched hand and laid a chaste kiss on her knuckles.

"King Alistair, a pleasure, I have heard much about you from Rina, I fear you have charmed her greatly," she murmured.

"Inaniene is a very talented Mage who has offered herself to aid the Inquisition," Cullen told them. Sweet Andraste, what was wrong with him? "She is extremely well versed in many ancient and unknown lore on magic."

"Milady, perhaps we should speak alone sometime?" Jowan quickly stepped up to her with his own hand outstretched, "I too enjoy learning and recording magical history in an attempt to preserve it for future generations of Mages to come."

"I would enjoy that," Inani smiled, "I am always interested in speaking to anyone who might be willing to share knowledge. We have turned one of the towers here at Skyhold into a Mage related tower. The first floor is for potions and such, with the size of our forces, potion making has taken on a whole new level," she chuckled, "but the top two floors are dedicated to Arcane study, plus in the lower levels of the Keep is an amazing small library with many old texts."

"Ahem, I believe I see Rina now Alistair, I am sure she will be interested in meeting both Fergus and Jowan as well," Cullen quickly spoke up, once again chastising himself for the jealousy in his voice.

"Of course Cullen," Alistair's eyes sparkled and Cullen could feel the blush creeping up his neck, "Come now gentlemen and Cullen, thank you, and a pleasure to meet you Inni- I'm sorry, your name is difficult to say."

"Please, call me Inani," she smiled and as if sensing Cullen's deepest thoughts, locked her arm through his and pulled him away, but not before Cullen heard Alistair's playful laugh as they turned away.

Cullen escorted Inani back to his office, and after unlocking the door, he tried to act like nothing was wrong by quickly picking up several missives on his desk.

"You know Cullen, there is no reason to think I could so easily be enticed into another man's arms or bed," she smiled and laid a hand on his chest, feeling his heart pound furiously under it. Today he had worn a loose fitting deep amber colored tunic that made his eyes sparkle like gold infused with copper.

"Inani," he breathed her name in a whisper as he raised his hand to her elegant cheek.

"I must stay focused Cullen, but if I were to want someone, I would look no further then to you." She smiled and raised up on her toes to place a kiss to his rough cheek, not expecting him to turn into it and pull her tight against him as he surged into the kiss, turning and pressing her tight against the wall, with his large form covering hers. He kissed her like he would die without her lips on his and moaned into her mouth when he felt her hands wind up and into his hair, playing with the tight curls she liked to tease him about. Maker did she ever taste good and feel even better he thought once more. She was so tiny compared to him, felt so fragile in his arms, but all it did was make him feel even more protective, more in love, more everything with her.

As the kiss grew more heated, he found himself rolling his hips into her and when she broke their kiss to moan against the shell of his ear, he thought his heart might damn near stop at the point. Nipping at her throat, he slid his hands down to cup her bottom, pulling her even tighter against him.

She tried to speak, tried to tell him he needed to stop, but then his lips were on hers again and all she could do was cling to him and allow his desire to wash over her. Yet, it wasn't until his hand left her hip and traveled up her body to cup her breast in his hand, letting his thumb tease at her already stiff nipple that she forced herself to pull back and speak, "Cullen, we can't," she moaned when she felt him nip her shoulder, only to run his tongue over it and then suckle the spot gently, "Cullen, please."

He forced himself to pull back and then leaned his forehead against hers as he tried to draw his breath once more into his body. Maker, it was taking every ounce of focus he had to strip her bare and lay her across his desk to feast on her body, satisfying them both over and over again. It was at that moment he heard someone knock on his door.

Not moving, he waited to see if they would call out on the other side. Instead, he heard as one of his runners pushed a missive under the door when they tried the handle and found it locked. He heard someone saying he must be with _her_ again and felt his cheeks grow warm knowing that his men whispered about the longing looks and nervous blushes that were always present when she was close. However, the truth was, as embarrassing as such talk was, Cullen knew he was hopelessly in love with her and prayed daily for the Maker to show him kindness and allow a world to exist where they could be together.


	12. Evil Has No Fear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Things get dark fast in this chapter. It deals with attempted rape. While I do not go into great detail, it is still there. Due to this, I want to be clear that if such bothers you then read until you see the asterisks and then skip to the end notes for a summary of what happened so that you can continue to enjoy the story and keep reading.

King Alistair had been at Skyhold for over two weeks before the Inquisitor returned from his latest mission. In that time, the people of the Inquisition had watched the love blossoming between the King and the kind Rina. In fact, many were openly wagering on how soon it would be before Alistair asked her to become his Queen. 

Cullen had also spent much time with Alistair and found they had much in common and often enjoyed relaxing in the garden while playing chess together. Both were close in age and both had spent a good amount of their youth in the Chantry training to become Templars. And with that common ground, a steady friendship was beginning to bloom.

Today as they played chess, they watched as Fergus and Kieran practiced with training swords as Morrigan watched. No matter how cold Morrigan could be, her son certainly brought a softness to the woman and with the joy, Kieran found in meeting his Father's Brother, she had allowed the two to spend much time together.

Cullen watched the boy and felt his heartache with the longing of his own family one day. How he wished to one day marry and have children of his own, but he also realized that with his age and his duty to the Inquisition, it was unlikely to ever happen. He had nothing to even support a family even if he did have one and he would never take a wife or have children with not having the security of a home and coin to care for them.

"So Cullen," Alistair's voice broke Cullen's thoughts and drew his attention back to the King and their game, "tell me more about Inani, she is an intriguing woman to speak too. All Jowan can seem to talk about these days is her and that she is not only a gifted Mage but quite beautiful as well. I hear from many that it is not uncommon to find the two of you in a rather close vicinity of each other." Alistair laughed as Cullen blushed and rubbed his neck uncomfortably.

"Uh, we have some history, but nothing more," Cullen looked away, trying not to turn completely red with embarrassment.

"Indeed, hmm I believe we are at checkmate," Alistair laughs and knocks the piece over on the board.

Lifting his hands in defeat, Cullen turns to see Rina approaching and nods to Alistair before standing and leaving the two together. Going back to his tower, he found Inani sitting on his desk chewing on her thumbnail looking rather deep in thought.

"Well this looks suspicious," he chuckled.

"Oh, Cullen, I um, hmm."

"Oh no, that is bad," he walked up to her and ran his knuckles down the side of her face, "you can talk to me you know, I am always here for you."

"Cullen, remember when I warned you about Nadia, I think, I made a mistake," she looked away from him.

"About what? You do know mistakes happen, there is no reason to be so upset dear," he smiled, she was adorable, nibbling her bottom lip and slightly flushed across her cheeks.

"You don't understand, Cullen I have never made a mistake before, it's impossible."

"Really? Wow, wish I had that, I have made a lot of mistakes in my life," He couldn't help but chuckle, was this really what she was so upset about?

"Cullen," she pulled away from him and walked across the room, "You really don't understand. I can.not.make.mistakes." she emphasized each word hoping it was sinking into him, "Cullen, you know I come from a different place and I have told you I have a mission many times, part of why I was sent was due to the fact I can not make mistakes."

"Inani," he walked to her once more,"why can you not tell me more about where you come from or your mission? If I knew more, perhaps I could help you."

"Cullen, I can't, I wish, I-." he stopped her and kissed her, running his fingers through her satiny locks.

"Inani," he whispered against her lips,"It's alright, so OK, you made a mistake and Nadia is not a threat, in the long run, it doesn't matter, we just keep going."

"Everything is so simple with you, I think it's one reason a care for you," she smiled.

Cullen could feel his heart quicken, while it was not a declaration of love, it was the first time she told him she had any type of fondness for him at all that gave him _hope_ with how she said it. Smiling and most likely looking like a fool, he was going to say more, but the trumpets sounded indicating the Inquisitor was back.

It was obvious that something was wrong that night, especially after Alistair proposed to Rina. While one would think that her Brother would be happy and proud that his Sister would be the Queen of Ferelden, Jacen, however, was not. After an argument, more like a shouting match, Jacen stomped off to his room carrying two bottles of Antivan whiskey with him. Thinking the man would drink himself into a stupor, everyone settled in for the night.

*******************************************************************************

Cullen wasn't sure how long he slept when he heard someone pounding on his door screaming for him. Pulling on his pants, Cullen slid down his ladder to open the door to a panicked Rylen.

"Cullen, you have to help me, please."

Cullen, blinked his eyes and realized Rylen was crying, Maker, what in Andraste's name was going on? "Rylen, calm yourself, what is going on?"

"It's the Inquisitor, he sent a guard to get Dorian, that was hours ago, so I went to see if they were OK or not and, Maker, I heard Dorian screaming Cullen, screaming and sobbing, Cullen, please help him!" Rylen almost collapsed against Cullen.

"Sweet Maker!" Pushing Rylen aside, Cullen grabbed his key ring and ran toward the Inquisitor's quarters, swearing to himself. If he harmed Dorian, Maker, not even Andraste would save Trevelyan this time!

Not even bothering to knock, Cullen took the key to the Inquisitor's rooms (Maker was he ever glad he insisted on having a set in case of an emergency!) and walked in on a horrifying sight. There was Dorian, tied up, naked and face down on the floor. Trevelyan was also nude and holding a whip in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other. Looking better at Dorian, Cullen could see the man's back had been whipped raw and bleeding and that was just what he _saw_ , Maker knew what else the Inquisitor had done to him.

Walking up to Trevelyan, the man turned and opened his mouth to speak, but Cullen gave him no chance and in one heavy punch laid the man flat out on his bed. Turning to Dorian, Cullen tried to comfort the man and began to untie him by the time Rylen came rushing in. 

Dorian turned and pulled Rylen to him, sobbing into his arms as Cullen grabbed a light robe laying on Trevelyan's couch to throw over his shoulders, before picking him up with Rylen's help. Tomorrow, he would make Trevelyan pay for this, but for now, it was far more important to get Dorian to safety.

Once they had Dorian back to their room, Cullen knew he needed to wake up a healer to come and work on Dorian. He would ask Fiona, not only was she extremely talented with healing magic, but she would not repeat anything seen or heard. While the other Advisers and a few other people like Cassandra, would have to know, they had to keep this quiet. It was hard enough to keep quiet some of the bad sexual preferences Trevelyan and often joined with Michel, as was, but this? This was a serious crime, a crime that could ruined the image of the Herald of Andraste and set back the Inquisition quite a bit! Damnation the man was a monster. Something had to be done, this proved they could no longer turn a blind eye to the man. He had to be punished this time. Just the idea of knowing this happened, here at Skyhold, with the fucking Inquisitor, dear Maker, what if it had been Inani? Forced to be naked, beaten and on the verge of being raped. Cullen could feel himself breaking, keep me from killing him was all Cullen could think.

Returning to Dorian and Rylen, Fiona with him, Cullen's rage was making it hard for him to remain in control. Waiting silently he watched as Fiona finished. She was able to force Dorian to sleep, to naturally help him heal, while her magic repaired his broken and abused body. He watched as Fiona spoke with Rylen and he hugged her for her help before she left, telling him she would come by in a few hours to see how he was doing. He watched as Rylen bent down and kissed Dorian's head and whisper his love. Rylen came to him and tried to speak, but all he could do was pull Cullen close and cry as he thanked him over and over again for saving Dorian.

Finally reassuring Rylen, Cullen left and walked back to his tower, but instead, he stopped along the battlements and watched the sunrise. Trevelyan would answer for his crime, whether he was Inquisitor or not. That much he swore to the Maker.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trevelyan sends a message to Dorian asking him to come to his chambers. After not returning, Rylen goes to investigate and hears Dorian screaming and crying, so he goes to Cullen for help.  
> Cullen finds Dorian being abused by a drunken Jacen. Stopping Jacen, Cullen helps Rylen take Dorian back to their rooms and asks Fiona to come and heal him. Cullen then swears to himself that Jacen must be stopped and answer for his crime.


	13. The Trap

The next day went nothing as Cullen had thought it would. Jacen was in the war room waiting for his Advisers, Cassandra and Rylen. Before the door was even shut, he was crying and begging them to understand. He told them he had taken a potion he got in Orlais to relax him as he was having trouble going to sleep and with the shock of learning about Rina and Alistair, he had drunk way too much and didn't even remember what happened. He begged Rylen to forgive him and begged until Rylen held him as Jacen cried on his shoulder. Everyone seemed to accept his apology, but Cullen thought it was too convenient, especially when he caught Jacen's eyes and saw the cruelty seated there and then shuddered, realizing it was all aimed at him.

If one was to guess what would happen in the span of the twenty-four hours after that meeting, well chances were it would be nothing like what actually transpired and it started with Inani and Solas. While Inani had been at Skyhold for several weeks, she had yet to actually speak with the Elf. Somewhat due to the fact that this last mission Jacen was on he had taken the mage with him, but honestly, it had seemed to Cullen that the Elf was avoiding her. However, all that changed when Inani and he were strolling through the gardens looking for Morrigan and found her with Solas.

"Ah Fen'Harel, we meet at last," Inani smiled as she reached her hand toward the Elf.

"That is not the right way to greet an Elf," Morrigan chucked, "In fact, I believe it is an insult."

"My apologies, I mean no disrespect. I guess my Elvish is a bit rustic."

Cullen wasn't sure what to think as he watched them. Inani knew more about languages and ancient history than anyone he had ever met, he couldn't imagine her making such a blunder. Not to mention that the way her eyes sparkled with that hint of mischievous light, he would guess she knew exactly what she was saying and it had a purpose, perhaps even to them both.

"It is quite all right," Solas told her,"Mistakes are often made when it comes to my people."

"Yes," She agreed, "And sometimes among them as well."

Cullen frown, it was obvious the two were dancing around their words and there was something beyond what Morrigan or he was aware of. She is playing a game, he thought, and he wasn't sure if Solas was participating or a victim of it.

"I have been interested in speaking with you, as I have indeed heard much about you."

"Yes, I have thought the same. I have heard you are quite knowledgeable about the Fade and would love to discuss it with you since I as well enjoy exploring the Fade."

"Perhaps we can agree on a time we both can sit down, but for now I have work to do," Solas told them before a brief nod of his head and then leaving.

As they left, Cullen leaned in and whispered to Inani that he believed she was playing a dangerous game in irritating the Elf, Inani simply smiled and replied, "Danger only makes the game far more fun to play," to which Cullen smiled.

"Would you care to accompany me down to the soldier camps?" Cullen asked as they left the Keep.

"Hmm, will you be training as well?"

"Perhaps, does that matter?"

"Very much, to go and look at troops and listen to speeches, not exactly my thing, but you stripping down to only your breeches as you train, that would surely be worth the trip," she smiled at the wicked grin that spread across his handsome face.

"Then my dear, for you, I will gladly add a few rounds in the training list to my agenda, anything to give my lady pleasure," he couldn't help the large grin he had and gave a deep chuckle when she blushed at her words.

Leading her to the stables, Cullen felt more content with life then he had for a long time.True, he would still keep a close eye on Jacen, but everything else was moving along. Bringing two horses out of the stables while she spoke to one of the boy's who helped Dennet with the horses, he couldn't help but laugh at the boy's obvious adoring looks he was giving her.

"Your horse awaits you, my dear," moving around the horse to give her a boost, he laughed when her young admirer cut him off to give her a boost. Mounting his horse, they left the keep and road in silence until he was sure no one would hear them.

"You have a young admirer it would seem," he laughed.

"David, he is sweet young boy, Cullen, but he is by far too young for me, although I suppose it is rather flattering to be my age and have such a sweet and handsome young man paying me such attention," she tried to be serious, but when he quirked one eyebrow, she dissolved into laughter.

"You are a wicked tease, my lady," Cullen grinned and impishly added, "but you teasing me is something I enjoy so very much."

Inani saw the heat in Cullen's eyes and couldn't help the shiver that traveled through her. While Cullen did not push to have something more between them, he certainly didn't hide the fact that he did either. She found herself questioning herself more and more on what to do where he was concerned.

"I'll race you to camp," he suddenly told her.

"What kind of wager?"

"Well, if I win I think I will claim a kiss," he winked.

"Alright, and if I win, what do I get?"

"Hmm, how about a kiss?"

"Cullen," she laughed, "either way you get a kiss."

"Lucky me," he laughed and kicking his horse, took off down the path toward the camps. Inani shook her head, Cullen could be so carefree and fun, something she had not experienced much in life and perhaps that was one of the reasons she enjoyed being around him so much. She had lived for so very long and this was the first time in all those years she had felt any joy, and she found herself aching for more from him every day she was here, whether she should do such or not.

Finally reaching the encampment, Cullen quickly dismounted and waited for Inani to arrive only a few paces behind him.

"I do believe you owe me a kiss, my dear," he told her as he helped her down and pulling her tighter to him, he dipped his head down and claimed her lips in a quick, yet so very wanting of a kiss. Letting her go, Inani found herself a bit wobbly on her legs. Whether it was long and sensual or quick and sweet, Cullen's kisses were all consuming and the Gods take her if she didn't want just that, to be completely consumed by him.

Never knowing the emotional turmoil going on inside her, Cullen offered her his arm and escorted her into the camps. Learning there were a few new recruits, Cullen told them he would evaluate them himself and for them to head to the list and get ready. He stripped down to his breeches and picking up his shield and sword, he rolled his shoulders and neck and heard the small gasp from her and grinning he winked at her, letting her know he knew exactly how the sight of him was affecting her and truthfully, knowing the sight of his body could do much to her, well it certainly made him happy.

They spent most of the day down at the camps and Cullen found a sense of inner peace with Inani by his side. She never seemed bored and even when he spent time listening to his recruits complaints or things the encampment needed, she would silently stand by him, never complaining or trying to move him along.

It was late in the day when they finally made it back to his tower. He had so much to go through and read and knew it would be a late night, so when she told him she was going to head over to the Mage tower and see what Jowan was doing, he smiled and settled into his own work that needed to get done. He also realized that his brief show of jealousy over Fergus and Jowan's interest in her was gone too. While Inani and he may not have a true relationship, they did have a special connection and he had faith that should she ever wish for more, she would be true to her words and look to him and not another.

It was late when Cullen finally put out his candles in his office and climbed to his loft, or at least he had planned to do just that except for a knock on his door. Debating if he should answer, he realized it could be important, could be a runner from Rylen needing aid, or Maker forgive, Inani too. Sighing, he slid back down his ladder and opened the door to a young man the Inquisitor used to take messages for him.

"C-Commander, I-I'm sorry its so late Ser, the Inquisitor requests you come to his chambers, he says it is important," the boy stammered, "and I have a note for you too," he held out his hand to him.

Cullen looked at the boy and saw the tremor in him and clearly, the boy was fearful that if he said no, the boy would have to go back to the Inquisitor and face his wrath. Sighing, he opened the letter and read the note.

_Cullen,_

_I know it is late, but would you please come see me._

_I want to make things right after the other night._

_Jacen_

 

Well, that was certainly unlike the man and he wondered maybe Jacen really was trying to change and if so Cullen was not going to take a chance on ruining that. Telling the boy he would dress and then go, he told him there was no reason to return to Jacen as he would be there shortly. He smiled at the boy's obvious relief as left to find his bed for the night.

Cullen knocked once and when he heard a reply entered the room, he did just that. Walking up to him, he started to speak when Jacen turned quickly and blew something into his face. Coughing, he saw a woman walk in from the balcony and tried to speak to them both. Feeling his body weaken, Cullen tried once more to speak before everything went dark and he crumbled to the floor.

 


	14. And the Darkness Takes

Cullen slowly woke and tried to remember had happened and where he was. Trying to move, he realized he couldn't and panic set in and after trying to pull, he found his wrists had been tied down, it was also the point he realized he was almost completely naked and wearing only his smalls.

"Look dear, our prize has awoken finally," a man said and slowly Cullen realized it was Trevelyan.

"Indeed, I must say Jacen, you have arranged him nicely," he felt someone run a hand down his back until the hand lightly cupped one of his buttocks.

"Of course, I aim to please you, my lovely lady," Trevelyan chuckled and walked around Cullen to sit before his head. It was then Cullen knew exactly where he was and why he couldn't move. Trevelyan had blown some kind of powder into his face and he had passed out. Then, he must have undressed him and laid him on Jacen's desk with his arms tied straight out and his legs spread with his ankles tied to the desk legs.

"What are you going to do Trevelyan?" Cullen hissed, there was no way he could get loose.

"Oh, well you remember Nadia? She has some wonderful ideas for you and after you interrupted my fun the other night and most of all made me have to pretend to act remorse in front of those idiots, I decided to punish you and have a bit of fun while at it," Jacen laughed.

Cullen felt his words slam into him. Punish him? He looked into Jacen's eyes and realized the man was completely insane, sweet Maker helps him!

"Jacen, why don't you whip him so we can start," Nadia purred in Jacen's ear as she bent over to where he sat in front of Cullen.

Laughing and standing, Jacen grabbed the whip and proceeded to whip Cullen so many times he couldn't count them, all he knew was his back felt as if it has been cut down to the very bones within. By the time he stopped, Cullen was close to passing out from the sheer pain alone.

"Cullen, beautiful Cullen," Nadia cooed at him and he noticed she was holding a bottle and it had a red glow to it. Cullen screamed knowing exactly what it was, "Please no, do anything, but not this!", but both ignored him.

Uncorking the bottle, Cullen continued to beg as the red lyrium was poured over his back and then it became screaming.The pain was worse than anything he had ever felt, worse than anything the demons had done to him at Kinloch Hold even! Tears ran down his face, this truly couldn't be happening he asked himself, yet he knew the truth, it was and he had to endure, he would not die like those monsters Samson created!

"Too bad I don't have that Orlesian potion, my dear, it can make any man stand at attention and then you could give him a go," Jacen laughed.

"You're such a tease Jacen," she walked to him and ran her fingers down his jaw, "but after you, such a man as Cullen would never do. He and that tramp of his are content with such sweet kisses, makes me wonder if they are both virgins," she laughed," but you know I need much more from a partner, things sweet little Cullen could never give me."

They laughed and tortured him for hours, opening old wounds only to fill them with red lyrium. During the course of the night, Cullen was thankful that eventually, his torture seemed to arouse them and he was given a break to try and steady himself as they had sex. He would live through this and then see Jacen Trevelyan hanged and Nadia right next to him, or so he told himself until they were finished, for what Nadia submitted him to next made the rest pale in comparison. She is as insane as he is, he thought, or perhaps even more. She showed her true wickedness then and one thing finally happened he had tried to not do, to not show them, but his resolve fell and he was finally begging for death.

It was almost dawn by the time Jacen drug Cullen down from his room. Under a cloak invisibility, fueled by Nadia's magic, no one saw the broken and abused Commander dumped in his office like a toy that was broken and no longer needed and sent to the trash.

Cullen tried to get up off his floor, after all, he was still almost naked, but he had no strength and each time he tried he fell back to the floor until he finally gave up and cried. How long he cried, he had no idea, only that he passed out once more after begging the Maker to take his life if He had any mercy left within Him.

Inani seldom dreamed anymore. Most of her nights in the Fade were spent hunting for the things she needed to end her mission or she would use her magic to enter a state of being that blocked the Fade so she could rest without interference. Tonight, she had done the latter and for a first, something had called out through her shell and woke her from her slumber.

Slowly blinking as she rose from her bed, she tried to reach out and sense what had awoken her and once she did, she quickly pulled on her leggings and ran from her rooms. Finding the door locked, she quickly used her magic to freeze the lock and shatter it so she could open the door and froze at the sight before her. There laid Cullen, his body broken and abused with a liquid made of red lyrium and blood seeping from many places on his body.

Running to him, Inani tried to lift his head and brush his hair from his face only to have him scream in horror and try to get away from her, unknowing it was no longer Jacen or Nadia, reaching to torture him.

"Cullen," she called to him softly, "It is I, Inani, please, let me help you."

"Inani, please, please," he sobbed," please kill me," but when he turned his face and opened his eyes, she saw what they had truly done to him as his beautiful golden eyes were now speckled with red. Never in her life had she felt as much anger as she did now. Using magic unlike typical mages knew, she levitated Cullen's body up to his loft and slowly ran her hands over his body, tracing it without touching him and healed what she could. As she healed his wounds, she knew each thing that caused them and her anger at Jacen Trevelyan grew to a hate unlike anything else she had ever known. It was then that she saw who else was involved and felt herself go cold. The maleficar! Damn her soul to the void, she let her guard down and even told Cullen he was safe from her, how could she have been so wrong? She knew, however, knew why she made such a huge mistake. The woman had worked through Jacen to exact her revenge on Cullen and in doing so, blocked her vision. The woman was more knowing and devious than she had given her credit for and as such, she had allowed Cullen to be harmed.

"They will both pay Cullen," she told him as she healed his body the best she could, "they will suffer ten times what they have done to you and then I will see them destroyed after that, this I promised you."

She laid there watching over him as his body began to adjust to the mending of her magic and she sealed him from the Fade so that in his slumber he would not relive what they had done. She cradled his golden head in her lap and ran her fingers through his hair, chilling them to try to ease the fever his body was taken with.

Some time had passed before he would open his eyes once more and focus on her face, "Are you real?" he barely whispered, "I see you but bathed in a bright light which shimmers from you," he took a sharp breath, "you are so beautiful, your eyes, I see the world every time I look into them. The light within you is like nothing I have ever seen before."  Inani was startled by what he said, he was seeing her true self and if that was the case he -, no, no it was impossible she told herself and this was just the delusion he was experiencing. It had to be, there was no way that he could see her, truly her or know, no she told herself, no, it was a fluke, that was all.

"I am here Cullen, I am here and will take care of you I promise you," she smiled and as his eyes closed once more and he swore he heard her tell him she loved him as well.


	15. Hell Hath No Fury

When it was finally daylight, Inani sent a runner for Cassandra and Leliana to come immediately. As she explained what had happened, she watched both women as their faces mirrored her own anger.

"That son of a bitch will die, now!" Cassandra swore, "the crime itself is horrid, but red lyrium? He has made so much progress with his choice of stopping lyrium," Cassandra eyes watered and tears spilled down her face.

"They both will die, tonight," the spymaster said quietly.

"No," they both raised their brows to look at Inani, "You all believe in the Maker, let Him pass His judgment first." Inani felt terrible using their religion against them, but she had to make sure Jacen at least lived through the night and if Leliana had her way, well that wouldn't be the case.

"But-,"

"No, trust me in this matter, I believe the Maker will see him punished soon enough and more than that, you know Cullen would want the same, for if anything he is a man of faith," she paused as they both relented their arguments," I will take care of Nadia, she is a dangerous mage and I am the most qualified to handle her and should something happen, which it will not, I am easier to replace than Dorian or Solas, especially now with the Inquisitor as he is."

"Cullen would argue otherwise about how vital you are," Leliana smiled, for she could easily see Cullen was in love with the woman, "but I will defer to you on this matter. I will also ask Rylen to cover for Cullen today and we will just tell him Cullen is sick and no one is to bother him and you will be caring for him."

"Thank you, give me a couple of hours and then one of you come here to stay with him and I will take care of Nadia," Inani paused and then added,"and we cannot let Trevelyan know we know of his crimes," she turned her head up toward the loft," Cullen will feel shame over what has been done to him, it will only be worse if he thinks others will know it too. He will have many battles to fight to regain where he once stood," turning back to them both, she added,"so we must keep this between the three of us."

"I agree," Cassandra nodded,"Cullen is a proud man, while we know he has nothing to feel shame over, that isn't the problem, it is what he feels."

"I think Josephine should know too," Leliana added, "She already hates Jacen, and truthfully if there is any fallout that might come from this and actions that must be taken, she needs to know."

"I agree," Inani told her, "And I think Rylen should be told too. I know you said to just say he is sick, but he will have to cover for Cullen for some time and I think he deserves to know why, plus he would never betray Cullen for anyone."

Letting them leave to handle things with Rylen, Inani climbed back to Cullen's loft to work on healing him more. Sitting down next to him, she cried as she heard the red lyrium twisting within his body. She picked up his hand and held it to her heart and sat and cried once more. When she had found him in the morning and cried in the pain, she had thought it was the emotions that grew with each human incarnation she took, but now she knew otherwise. This wasn't from emotional residue like she felt when Claudia Scipio's home burned, this was her emotions. Created to feel no fear, nor pain and be void of emotions, somehow this man had created within her something her maker denied her.

"Oh Cullen, I am so sorry I failed you," she cried even harder feeling the heart she didn't know could ache, shatter as he opened his eyes once more and the red specks still resided there," Cullen, kind and loving Cullen."

"Inani," her name drifted across his lips, a mere whisper carried by his breath to her ears,"do not cry, I am not worth it." She watched as he turned his head from her and saw the shame within his red-gold eyes, yet with his weakened body, it was easy for her to stop him and laying her hand to the side of his face forced him to look at her.

"Cullen, you are worth my tears and more to me," she lowered her face and briefly kissed his lips," I was never meant to hold anything in my heart, but you, you alone will forever reside there."

She watched as he frowned at her words and she bent once more to kiss him, only to watch him recoil as his body seized up in pain once more. The red lyrium crystals within his blood tore through him like small shards of metal, sharpened to a fine point that inflicted agonizing pain throughout his body. He was instantly drenched in cold sweat and screamed as it through him.

"Maker," he cried and begged,"please, take me now and cease my suffering."

"Shh, Cullen," she turned his face to hers," focus on my face and feel peace," and she closed her eyes and recited ancient words that none but she knew.

He forced his eyes to stay open, forced himself to do anything she would ask of him, but it was hard, so bloody hard to concentrate.  His body and will were broken, Trevelyan had beat him relentlessly, cruelly, enjoying how much pain he forced upon his body as it was torn asunder. Worse, however, Nadia had fed him her foul creation derived from red lyrium and poured it over his body, Maker, he couldn't do it, couldn't live through another nightmare that was worthy of comparison of what the demons had done to his body and soul during the Blight, "let me die," he told her between the sobs.

"Cullen, open your eyes and look at me," she asked and when he did, he saw it once more. She had a shimmering light that seemed to actually come from her and her odd eyes looked more like the ice at Haven's lake when it reflected the glow from the breach. Yet even stranger was how it looked almost like small crystals shimmed around her and her hair seemed to have a fine silver sheen that reminded him of finely crafted Silverite armor after it had been polished to perfection. He thought about how he had been taught that demons represented the evil in the world and if that were the case, then she was the true embodiment of all that was good.

He tried to lift his hand to her face but was too weak to do so, yet as if she could read his thoughts she took his rough palm and laid it against her cheek and then turned her face to nuzzle it.

"Go to sleep Cullen, you will be safe, nothing will harm you, I promise," she leaned down and kissed his lips, soft and sweet as always, "I will have to leave for a bit, but do not worry, Cassandra thinks you are having Lyrium withdrawals and will come and sit in your office while I am away. I will be quick I promise you and then I will stay with you and not leave your side."

He looked at her and gave her a small brief smile, "Thank you," he murmured as sleep slowly tugged him back down, yet still, she heard him as he told her he loved her and once more hated the way her heart quickened at his words. Leaving him she went downstairs and waited for Cassandra.

"I am falling in love with him," she whispered to herself," and I can't, I shouldn't even be able to feel such, I am cursed, owned, belong to another, but I know it's true."

Damn Vicorea, damn her black soul to the void. She was meant to be a gift of love to her Mother, not a pawn to be used for her revenge and then there was Ra-Coshka. She swore her life in protecting her and what did she get? A hundred lifetimes of slavery for her devotion. She was bound to Kyostis, the lady of justice she had been called, and justice, even her avatar, could never allow their emotions to lurk in their way. She was stripped of her emotions, bound in unholy fire and sacrificed for a higher good, to be reborn time and time again, gathering the remnants of their society to keep out of the hands of those who sought to destroy the very world the Ra-Coshka died protecting. Like Fen'Harel. He might have everyone here fooled, but she knew who he was and what he was doing. He preached that this world was created on the back of the Elves, yet the hypocrite felt nothing about the Elves stealing her people's artifacts and magic to advance them. She had viewed the battle at Haven in the Fade and seen the orb Corypheus carried, foci the elves called them, arrogant bastards, they were ru'cova. When the Ra-Coshka and Ru-Costa were a pair, their eggs held both parents magic, a magic that held the powers of life and death, the power of creation itself, and when they fell the elves scurried to find them and claim them for their people. When the elves told their stories and when Fen'Harel trapped the elven pantheon as he created the barrier, he put in motions events that made her people sacrifice pointless, damn arrogant idiot. Part of her wanted to oust the little elf and see how well he would last with how weak he currently was, but that was not necessary for her mission and she could certainly keep a better eye on him with not knowing who she really was. What was that saying Cullen always used? Makers wrath, no, damnation, she couldn't remember. But that brought her back to Cullen. She knew in her heart it was Vicorea's curse that made him want her and if she could remove it, he would feel differently, but even so, it gave her something she never dared hope for, the feeling of love.

"Oh damnation," she swore. Cullen's feelings were false and here she was selfishly using them because she wanted him, "Gods I am as bad as my Mother," for it was exactly like something Vicorea would do. She knew what she had to do, she would bind his heart and when she was ready to leave, take his memories of her away. After this was over, he would be able to find real love, have the family he yearned for deep inside and she could focus better on her task and put all of this behind her.

A tear slipped down her face, damn her emotions, they were getting worse. Years of taking human bodies had left her each time with lingering emotions and Claudia had been far too emotional when they agreed on the swap, she should have waited, waited for the girl to calm down, and now look at her.

Hearing Cassandra walk in she got up and went to find Nadia. She would destroy her and tonight, tonight would also see the end of the reign of terror of Jacen Trevelyan. Which meant tonight she would need to speak to Rina, but first, it was Nadia she needed to deal with. Part of her couldn't wait, it was part of her nature. Vicorea was the Goddess of love and hate and in sharing her Mother's blood, she too had such within her and hate was like an addiction, it felt good, especially with these human emotions so charged up. She hated that it did such too her, but sometimes it also was undeniably good too and this was certainly one of those times.

Inani laughed at Nadia's outrage and her use of red lyrium. Not that it mattered mind you, she knew the mage had no chance at defeating her, but the lyrium made it so much easier.

"Do you know where lyrium came from?" Inani asked her, and then answered herself, " When my Mother fought in the last great war of Irosea, she was struck down, as her blood seeped into the ground, lyrium was born. Red lyrium is a sickened version of it, but it also is easier to control than normal lyrium."

"You're, you're lying," Nadia stammered," Lyrium has been around forever, you're too young for such a ridiculous story."

She only laughed and shifted into who she truly was and watched as the mage shook in fear as her skin and hair paled, light crystalized around her and then Nadia saw the very Fade bled from her eyes and swirl around Inani. Taking the woman quickly by the neck, she hauled her up in the air and to her face.

"I swore to Cullen I would torture you first and then kill you, but luckily for you, I have to little time for such," she began to squeeze, but then heard laughter drifting around her.

_"Kill her," it whispered, "release, release, release."_

Inani was startled, what in the name of the Gods was happening?  Turning back to Nadia, she thought she saw something move in her eyes, but shaking it off, she tightened her grip and crushed the woman's throat and left her dead, crumbled in a heap like the pile of trash she was.

_"Thank you, thank you, thank you"_

Inani heard something rushing across the wind and paused to look out over the mountains. Something was coming, something she did not know nor understood and for someone like her, that was a frightening thought. There was something more to Nadia and even Jacen than she thought. Tomorrow she would go over Nadia's room slowly, but for now, Cullen would need her. The next few hours would be rough and she had to focus on helping and healing him.

Returning to Cassandra, she told her it was done and before she left, she asked Cassandra to make sure no one would go into Nadia's quarters until Inani had a chance to search her rooms."I am the best person to deal with what Nadia was creating, as it is impossible for me to be corrupted by lyrium, even the red, but for now Cullen needs my magic if he is to come back from all this," and then waiting for her to leave, she locked the door before climbing back up to Cullen. He was awake but shivering and she went quickly to him and pulled the blankets back up his body. It was odd to see him as such, with the lyrium withdrawals, he normally was feverish, but for now, he was chilled and she would make sure he was comfortable.

"Climb in," he told her with chattering teeth. She started to argue, but when she heard a quiet please, she nodded her head and slipping off her boots, she allowed herself to be folded up in his arms. "Better," he whispered against her hair and kissing her forehead, he went back to sleep.

Inani sighed, he was certainly making it hard to stick to her resolve of leaving him. He was so loving and so very kind to her. He asked for nothing in return either. Once more she damned those who controlled her life, how could they ever have expected that at some point she would not meet someone? Of course, Cullen was certainly not like any other man she had ever meant before. She imagined no one, even the Gods, could have predicted someone like him would not only be born but end up crossing her path. Feeling his warm breath on her neck made her smile, not to mention the strong arms that held her so lovingly. Why did he have to feel so damn right? Closing her eyes, she decided she too should get some sleep, it would take much of her energy to deal with the Inquisitor tonight.

Cullen slowly woke up later feeling a bit better, but he still felt weak. It took him a few moments to realize Inani was curled up in his arms. He couldn't help but smile, she made him feel whole, made him not feel like the broken failure he was. He lowered his head and nuzzled her hair and smiled as she made a small snort against his chest and then snuggled closer. Scooting her up slightly, he kissed her forehead and smiled when he saw her smile in her sleep.

He wished they could stay like this forever, or at least he did until his body suddenly was wracked with terrible pain, jerking away from her, he screamed as he was consumed with agony.

"Cullen!" Inani woke as soon as he pulled free and sat up quickly as he rolled onto his side.

"I-I'm s-sorry," he folded himself up as much as he could, holding himself as his whole body shook.

"Cullen, it's OK, please let me help you," she tried to roll him back over toward her, but he refused to budge.

"No, don't look at me," he cried, but he was so weak, she was able to finally get him to roll over and gasped at what she saw. Cullen was crying and his tears were streaked with red, "Oh Cullen," she felt her heart breaking at the pain in his eyes.

"I'm weak," he said, but she ignored his words and instead cradled his head and stroked his hair, "We will get through this Cullen, you are so much stronger then you think. I have faith in you." She held him as he cried and used her magic to sooth his body once more. She couldn't understand why they wanted to hurt him, Cullen was truly a good man and why anyone could focus so much hate on him was truly beyond her understanding. "You can do this Cullen and I will be right here helping you, I promise."


	16. A New Rule Begins

Inani made her way through the keep and up to Rina's rooms. She had a heavy heart on what she must do now, mostly because she considered Rina a friend, a real friend, something Inani had never had outside of her interactions with Cullen, and those, until recently had been brief as well. Yet, even so, the Inquisition could not fail, Corypheus must be destroyed and she would also make sure that Solas did not recover the ru'cova for his own destructive plans.

Opening the door, she walked into the room and went over to the bed, where a sleeping Rina lay dreaming and once more felt guilt consuming her, but knowing there was no other choice, she woke her gently. Rina, of course, was startled and instantly dreaded that something had happened to her Brother or her King. Inani reassured the girl that there was nothing wrong per say, but she did come with a heavy heart to speak to her of events now set in motion and why she was there in the dead of night and saw Rina's expression change as she spoke. One thing she did not tell Rina was that once this was done, she would not remember any of this. She would wake thinking it was the Maker's doing, just as everyone else would as well. Even though some might not understand why she was even bothering asking the girl, but the truth was Inani wanted to know that if given the truth her friend would actually choose this path she must now walk.

So, with that in mind Inani told her everything and what she offered to do this night and watched as Rina's eyes grew round and finally, she cried.

"I wish it didn't come to this Rina, I wish there were another answer and more than anything I wish that this pain might be carried by another, but at last it can not," Inani felt tears gather in her eyes and realized exactly how much she truly cared for her, "But we may wish for anything in this life and as we both know, sometimes wishes and hope have to be set aside in the name of duty and especially when it is for a higher good."

"Alistair," Rina sniffled, "He will be heartbroken."

"Rina," Inani reached across to the other woman and took her hand,"He has waited this long to fall in love, that will not change. The Inquisition will be over before the year is out. He will wait for you."

"I suppose if anyone knows it would be you, for I know this is the first time you and Cullen have been together in what, 10 some years?" Rina paused and smiled when she saw the odd look on Inani's face, "He told me he fell in love with you the moment he first saw you," Rina spoke softly," I had asked him about how quick a man could be in love because Alistair has only known me for such a short time and he told me that time didn't matter, that sometimes all it takes is one glimpse and your soul knows it found its other half."

"I, I don't know," Inani mumbled.

"You might not, but he certainly does not waiver in his feelings for you," Rina frowned, "I suppose that we can discuss another night, but for now we must focus on this tasks, and as such, I accept. We will go now and maybe with such a burden removed, my Brother can return to the good man he once was.I, yes, I accept, let us do it now."

Leaving Rina's rooms, Inani slowly put to sleep each guard they met on the way to the Inquisitor's rooms and a simple wave of her hand had the lock opening into his personal chambers. Walking into the room, they found Jacen draped over the bed with two females from the tavern on either side. 

It was what came next that made Rina feel as if her heart had stopped and she was gazing upon a heavenly being from the Maker's realm itself. Inani closed her eyes and when she opened them, Rina saw almost clear shimmering wings come out of her back, but what was really frightening was that when her eyes opened, it looked as if the Fade itself was bleeding from her eyes as a pale, strange green rolled from them like fog and slowly drifted around her around her

Inani began to speak words that no mortal upon Thedas today had ever heard, for it was the language of her people, taught to them by the Ra-Coshka, that could bend the fibers of the world to be reshaped into something new. Most of her race could never do what she was doing this night but as a handmaiden of the great Dragon of creation and the power of her Mother's blood, she was capable of magic far stronger than anything this world had ever seen. Laying a veil of magic over Jacen and his guests, none would awaken while she worked.

"Mav vashka ada capbalea," she spoke and reached out her hand to Rina and as soon as she took it, Inani's head fell back and Rina had to bite her lip to keep from screaming out at the pain of energy moving through her. Turning to Jacen, Inani grabbed his ankle and began chanting.

"Ivish ru'ova madadi moronica,

Bevua Ra-Coshka, Bevua!

Madioa, Mado, Madioa."

Rina whimpered, Maker it felt as if lava was coursing through her body! The pain was unbearable, yet she had to endure. Thedas must be saved she told herself, then realized that wasn't enough, Alistair could die if she did not endure and if this was what it took to protect him, then Maker be damned she would live through this!

"Ova, Ova, Ova," Inani looked at Rina, "Repeat after me Rina, Odanka geveno advaari."

"Odanka geveno advaari," Rina spoke as she looked at Inani. She couldn't believe her eyes, for Inani was giving off a bright, intense light and small crystals shimmered around her. It was then she felt another intense stab and collapsed under the weight of it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jacen woke the next morning feeling better then he had for a long time. His dreams were clear and there had been no demons this night and for once he woke without the anchor hurting too. He had only started wearing a glove to bed and he knew in his heart it would help and obviously it did. Smiling he dressed and made his way to the war room.

As he entered the main hall he found everyone staring and whispering as he went. What, in the Maker's name was going on now? Pushing through the doors, he saw his Advisers, including Cullen and that, certainly brought a smile to his face with how poorly the man looked and the fact he leaned heavily on Inani to even stand and then he realized that Alistair and his mage Jowan were there as well.

"Alright, what is going on? Has my Sister come to her senses and told the Ferelden Bastard no?" He chuckled at the shocked look on Rina's face.

It was then that he saw Leliana walk closer to him with a large smirk on her face.

"I believe we are here to see Andraste's mark," she told him sweetly.

"You and I both know it has nothing to do with Andraste or the Maker woman!" he snapped, but still pulled off his glove and in shock saw the mark was indeed gone! "What in the-." he stammered.

"It would seem, the Maker was indeed part of His Herald's making after all, for, in the middle of the night, it transferred from you to your Sister," Leliana nodded to Rina and slowly she raised her hand and he saw the mark was indeed there.

"Maker," Cullen whispered, "it is true, Andraste has chosen a true Herald."

"Wait a damn minute," Jacen raged, Rina would not steal this from him! "I don't know what is going on, but, I, I am the Inquisitor, which means I am still in charge and you will obey me."

"Maker's breath, grow up man!" Alistair swore, "Have some damn pride, you pathetic child."

"You, you Ferelden bastard, how dare you-."

While they should have been shocked, should have been outraged, most hid their snickers as the King of Ferelden walked around the table and punched Jacen, knocking the man out cold.

"Your Majesty!" Josephine exclaimed.

"I know, I know, stop acting like a barbarian, have some pride, act like a King-."

"No!" she blurted out," I, I mean, um, well, well done," Josephine blushed," You do not know how many times I have wanted to punch that man, but I didn't think he was worth the broken nail, "she added impishly.

"Hmm, well then, you're welcome." He smiled, but soon frowned," I am afraid this changes our plans, Rina, I have stayed longer than I should have and-." he drifted off, unsure what to say, then he raised his shoulders and smiled at her, "But if Andraste wished for a Herald worthy of her and the Maker, you, my Rina, is surely the best of us all." walking to her he picked up her dainty hand in his large one and kissed her knuckles lightly, "I will never love another." he smiled.

"Alistair," he turned his eyes to Leliana, "The Inquisition will not last forever, we are close to the end and then Rina will be free to marry you."

Cullen slowly walked to Alistair and grasped his shoulder, "Alistair, believe me when I say, if you truly love someone, is she not worth the wait?"

"Yes, and I will, I will wait for you until I die Rina Trevelyan." Squaring his shoulders he resumed the pose of the King and added, "I am leaving Jowan here. He will be at the Inquisition's disposal, but he will also be Rina's guard. Jowan is well experienced in magic and he is loyal to me without a fault and I know he will do so for her as well. I do not trust Jacen and while I know Rina will state she has nothing to fear from the man, I refuse to risk it with her. Jowan will stay and he will accompany Rina everywhere, this is not up for debate."

"We do have Morrigan and Solas already," Josephine mused out loud," and then there is Inani."

"True, and believe me, I know how sneaky and witchy Morrigan is, but whether she wants to admit it or not, she does not know everything and Solas may be part of the Inquisition, but that does not mean he would die to save Rina, as Jowan would." He paused and winked at Cullen," And I think Inani's concerns are rather busy right now and she will not be able to give her devotion to Rina." He laughed when he saw Cullen blush.

"What about Jacen?" Cullen asked.

"Well, he was named Inquisitor because he was the Herald and truth be told, and I do apologize, Rina, but there are a lot of people who have felt betrayed by Jacen's ways, I do not think those who serve will do so if he is not the Herald, for that alone keep masses of people from leaving us. Even if he refuses to give up his title, an Inquisitor is only as strong as his forces and with none, well, you see where I am going with this." Josephine paused for a moment,"I suppose if worse comes to pass, we will just have to become the Herald's Inquisition and have Rina as our leader. "

At that moment Cullen stumbled and almost fell to the floor, "I need to get him back to his rooms, the red lyrium-." Inani paused, dear Gods, she had just told them all, well shit.

"Maker, what happened?" Alistair turned and noticed the red in Cullen's eyes for the first time and rushed to help the man stand up.

"Nadia poisoned him with red lyrium," Inani said while smacking herself internally for the slip," which is why I killed her."

"And Jacen was involved?" Rina asked, "Tell me the truth."

"Yes Rina, yes he was, but I will say no more on it," Inani told her. She could already feel Cullen stiffen, knowing he was internally hurting over what was being said and of his own weakness. They had already argued this morning on that subject too. Cullen saw himself as being too weak to fight off Jacen and that it proved how unworthy he was. She had told him over and over that wasn't true and finally lost her temper with him telling him he was being a pain. Cullen could be the sweetest man she ever met, but at times he was also the most stubborn.

"Let me get Cullen back to his bed and the rest of you can figure out how to announce we have a new Herald now," and with that, Inani helped Cullen back to his tower and work on getting him better, because now with Jacen not having the mark anymore or followers, she wanted to be sure when he unleashed his rage, Cullen would not suffer even more from the man.


	17. For One Moment

The next three days at Skyhold were turbulent at best. Word spread like wildfire that Andraste herself had seen the wicked ways of the Inquisitor and took back the mark to instead bestow it on the Lady Rina, who was indeed worthy of her blessing and title. Any rumors about the mark not being from Andraste were quickly stopped, for who but Andraste could remove the mark and give it to a more worthy Herald? Anything Corypheus had said at Haven was now dismissed as the monsters own delusions and those who had doubts about the Herald found their faith restored. Those who served the Inquisition were, even more, devoted to their faith. The Inquisition was even more united and stronger than ever before.

Jacen had tried to fight for his title and tried to hold his power, but as those who once supported him left him in droves, he had no choice but to step down from his post, and relinquish his title. However, even with that, he refused to leave, citing his Sister as his reason and the Maker knew kindhearted Rina accepted such too. For her, and honestly, only her, seemed to love the man and refused to see him sent forth with nowhere to go and no home to return too with the recent destruction of his estates. She also wished for him to stay and help her with learning the mark, citing his first-hand knowledge would be valuable to her.

One major change, with Cullen's blessing, was for Rylen to take over as the Inquisition's Commander. While he was getting stronger with Inani's magic, he felt he could not give the dedication he had in his weakened state. Reluctantly Rylen agreed, but only on it being temporary and that once Cullen healed he would resume his role. Also, among the Advisers, a change was seen, as was expected, that Jowan was named Arcane Adviser. Which honestly made sense, not just because Alistair had insisted on Jowan being at Rina's side, but due to the fact their enemy was an Ancient Magister and someone knowing magic better could help when they planned their strategy and when troops and agents were deployed.

It was also at this time that the man Hawke referred to only as his friend in the Wardens arrived at Skyhold. Aedan Cousland, who just happened to be the Hero of Ferelden as well, arrived and caused quite a show in the courtyard when Morrigan saw her partner and ran to him. She stopped short, punched him with enough force to stagger the giant man and then jumped into his arms to kiss him with everything she had. Since King Alistair had yet to leave, they were also reunited with Alistair and Fergus as well. Aedan laughed with his former Warden, turned King and his brother until a small voice called out "Papa," which he turned and ran the steps two at a time to grab his son in his arms and spin him around laughing and teary-eyed at holding his beloved child once more.

Cullen had made his way down to the gathering as well with the help of Inani, to welcome the man who freed him from the demons during the Blight. He was surprised when he saw Aedan Cousland though, in ten years the man had aged greatly. Now wearing his dark locks longer, he had it pulled back in a long braid with his sides pure white and a vicious scar that cut through his face which had left his one eye a white blue instead of the brilliant blue it had once been.

Shaking his hand, he laughed as a voice rang out from behind him asking where the son of a nug was. Turning he watched as Leliana came forward and both laughed as she hugged him too.

"Ah my favorite wicked bard!" he chuckled and even more so when he saw Morrigan shoot him a dirty look. Reaching for her he smirked and told her of his love, "Do not worry my love, I'm married now, I don't chase after vixens anymore."

"You're married?" Fergus was shocked," Why didn't you say so?"

"Because, you idiot," he smirked, "I had no time for letters, but before I left to track down information on Corypheus and contact Hawke, I made sure my son and Morrigan would be safe and married her so she would be lady Cousland instead of dark-haired temptress, hoping should it be needed she would have the protection of a noblewoman." He winked at Morrigan and unbelievably to Alistair and Leliana, she blushed. "Well, now that that is settled, I would like to find some food, a bed," Aedan laughed and added wickedly, "And a babysitter."

"I am no child Papa and if you are going to bed, why does it matter anyway, I will just stay with Mother."

"Because you wild little thing," Aedan laughed, "I plan to take your Mother with me and discuss you having siblings." If Morrigan had blushed before, she was crimson now and shook her head when Kieran said he still didn't understand, but he would like his Mother to agree as siblings would be nice.

Fergus laughing at his Brothers antics once more and told the boy to come with him.

Cullen watched them leave for the keep to meet Rina before Aedan retired and smiled. It was good to see laughter and happiness and made him even happier to know that someone like Aedan, who had given everything to his Country and to the Wardens, had still found love and family during these dark times.

Turning to climb the steps to see Rylen, he made it to the top before a spasm of pain went through him and he fell to one knee.

"Cullen," Inani tried to help him stand and got him up enough he could lean on the stone wall before steadying himself. "That's it, I am taking you to my tower and putting you to bed."

"Wanting me in your bed eh?" He smiled as she blushed, "Perhaps I died, for a swear, I must be dreaming."

"That's not exactly what I meant you know it." She blew a strand of hair out of her face that came loose while trying to help him stand.

"First let me talk to Rylen, and then, then I am all yours." The way he said that and look he gave her made her feel weak in the knees.

She watched as Cullen and Rylen spoke and let her eyes travel his body. Since giving up his post as Commander, he now only wore loose tunics and leather breeches and truth be told, she found her resolve to not share their bodies becoming harder and harder. Even with knowing what she would face when she returned to her home, how she would be punished, she had begun to reason that her life had been one level of pain to the next that being with Cullen would be worth the torture that she would endure once her mission was over.

"Inani," Cullen laughed and touched her arm, causing her to jump, "I'm sorry I didn't mean to startle you."

"I, was, um, thinking," she couldn't help the blush.

"What wicked thoughts must be going through your head for me to startle you such and bring out such a blush to your lovely cheeks," he raised his hands to her face and cupping her jaw, he stroked her cheekbones with his thumbs before kissing her once more. He had never really considered himself someone who wished to be touched or even kissed in public but found when it came to her he really could care less who saw them. Every moment his lips met hers it seemed as if the world melted away and only they were left in it.

Taking his hand once they parted, she started to lead him to the tower she claimed for herself, "I want to show you something," she smiled.

Cullen said nothing and let her take him to her rooms. Everyone had been given strict orders to stay away from there and even he had never seen the inside. When she had first come to Skyhold she had stayed in the guest rooms that overlooked the garden, but when she saw the tower past his that no one used, she had asked for it. On one side was the wall that had never been repaired and had the door was off its hinges and boarded up over it. She had several workmen building in it the smaller rooms she wanted, as well as two new fireplaces and stairs. Once that was done, she had forbidden anyone from entering it and the one time Jacen tried to do so, he found magical wards that stopped him from even touching the handle.

He watched as she waved her hand while making strange symbols with her hand, similar to what he had seen people used who were unable to speak, yet as she did this, growing tattoo's appeared on her hand and then vanished when the door opened. Walking inside, Cullen was rendered speechless at what he saw.

The room was basked in colors of vibrant hues with silky drapes covering most of the walls. There were candles everywhere and small pots with smoke coming out that smelled spicy and musky. He noticed the doorway that split the lower chamber had jewels hanging in strands that seemed to sparkle before his eyes.

"This is, well, amazing! I have never seen anything like it," Cullen was slightly spinning in the room, not sure what focus on since everything was unique to his eyes, "Is this how your people lived?"

"Well, it is how I lived, what I am used to."

"It's beautiful," he turned and ran his fingers through her hair," but not as much as you are," and dipping his head he kissed her, pulling her tight against him.

She sighed into his kiss and when it became deeper, and felt her body molding against his as his hands left her hair and traveled down her body until she felt him cup her bottom and slightly squeezing it.

"Cullen," she murmured against his lips, "how I desire you, I wish-," she couldn't say more as he was kissing her once more.

Finally pulling away, he only smiled and pulled her hands to his lips, kissed her fingers before stepping back and giving them both a moment to calm down. He would never press her for more than she wished to give, but Maker damn him it was getting harder to do so with each kiss they shared.

Smiling at him, she took his hand once more and led him through the beaded doorway and into the next room.

The room was small and cozy, with a round fireplace and multiple pillows of various sizes on the floor around a short table. The room also had many bookshelves filled with books, scrolls and some strange items that he was unable to figure out what they were. Drawing him to the table, she motioned for him to sit while she did as well.

"I wish to share something with you Cullen, a gift, so you can understand better who I am," she paused and looked down, "but it may be slightly painful, nothing bad, but it would give you much insight into me. It would be like reading a book, in a sense, you will feel a pressure and then just know things. I want you to know who I am and how I came to be."

"Inani," he took her hand once more, "Are you sure? I do not wish for you to give more then you can. While I want to know more about you, I am content as we are."

"Cullen, I have never felt what I do for you before, ever, in any lifetime. Yet, even so, you know nothing of me while I know almost all of you, so yes I wish to do this. Especially now with me treating your Lyrium infection, so you can know why I can pull it from you so easily. I have heard people talking about how you were infected with red lyrium, yet have recovered much easier than anyone else who has come in contact with it."

Cullen frowned, he had never thought about it, but it was true that the red lyrium was leaving his body rather quickly and every day he was stronger. He still had moments of weakness, like earlier before speaking to Rylen, but on a whole, he was even doing better then he had been on stopping even the regular lyrium.

"Alright, I am ready," he told her.

"Come with me Cullen," and standing she lead him up the small spiral stairs, taking him into what he guessed was her sleeping chamber. The bed sat much lower than anything he had ever seen and was covered in blankets of rich velvets and soft snow white furs. There was also a small ceramic jar next to the bed that burned something sweet smelling, yet unknown to him.

"Lay down Cullen," she paused and looking up into his eyes asked, "are you sure you want to do this? There is no undoing it for you later."

Kissing her softly, he pulled back and ran his fingers down her face and told her yes. He pulled off his boots, as she asked him to lay back on the bed and once he was settled, she took a small jar from the stand by her bed and asked him to pull off his shirt as well. He smiled at the small sigh she gave at the sight of him shirtless and couldn't help the smirk and chuckle as she blushed.

Slowly she spoke words he had never heard before and drew strange symbols on his chest with the liquid from the jar with her fingers. Putting the jar aside, she begins to chant and he felt the symbols grow hot and almost burn and then everything went blank.


	18. The Lives I've Lived

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ** WARNING** Violence and gore as Cullen begins to see glimpses into how Inani came to be. While it is not graphic, it does tell exactly what abuses she has been through. This whole section is in italics only and could be skipped if you wish too.

Cullen found himself in a strange state of being. He saw flashes of images, felt moments of stimuli and heard words whispering through his head. He tried to make sense of what was running through him and could only hold on to mere moments, fragments that settled in his head.

_A woman was holding a bottle in her hand, she was incredibly beautiful and dainty and cutting her hand dripped blood into the bottle and then poured into over something. Then he saw her molding what looked like a baby._

_"Anuculabi,"  she called it and as the infant came to life and he watched as it changed and grew before his eyes._

_"Mother,' the now toddler said and it smiled and tried to hug her as she pushed it away. "Never call me that," she hissed.  
_

_The Mother, Vicorea, is the Goddess of love and hate, of sensual love and dark perversions. All her children are cursed with all desiring them and never feeling anything more than mere lust, incapable of inspiring love._

_She is given by her Mother, to a dark and twisted being and finds she is not the first of her kind created. Vicorea had been doing such for thousands of years, receiving power and other vices in return. Things only the darkest, cruelest of creatures can conjure and trade.  
_

_"A new pet," the being whispers and she is bound in chains to serve his needs as all her Sisters before have. Centuries pass, the world of mortals have changed many times and she is still bound, chained, raped and abused, it could never be worse she thinks, naively._

_She dies, release, she feels happy, only to find her Mother has stolen her back. No, she cries as she wakes to find herself in a new body for a new purpose._

_The woman, Vicorea, dragging her reborn daughter, to a room with black blood dripping from the ceiling. She called forth something and saw as a form come out of the shadows. She took the girl and threw her on the ground before she plunged a dagger into its chest and left the body to a black as night being wrapped in silver chains. "Take it Kyostis, do as you wish."_

_"I am justice, I am devoid of all emotion, I am fair, but can be cruel, all are weighed before me."_

_Two great Black Dragons are fighting. They are named Ra-Coshka and Ru-Costa, the female is called Mother and is the being of creation, the other is death, Father of the Void. He is mortally wounded, but escapes and vows this world will burn with all they created reduced to nothing but ash._

_A battle is raging. The ancient Gods, follow the Ru-Costa, bent on destroying the world and leaving a burned wasteland in their wake. Inaniene sits upon a horse, betraying Kyostis and leaving their ranks to follow the Ra-Coshka and save the world and that of mortals and beasts alike. She feels pride in breaking free of the Dark Ones and in choosing to save the world instead._

_She watches as her Mother dies, blue blood runs from her body and seeps into the ground and strange stone creatures grow deep underground. Titans, they call themselves, now alive and powerful with a Goddess blood coursing through their veins._

_She is laid out on an altar, tied and fighting as the great dragon stabs her heart with one massive claw. She is reborn again as a servant of the dragon._

_"This world is over," the Dragon speaks in her mind, "but my dead children, my ru'cova, hold much power and the Elves are seeking them. They will take what is left of this world and build a world of immortality, magic, power, and slavery. Find my children, find our artifacts, destroy all before a new evil gains their true power and destroys all I died for. Take my blood child, take my magic, all that is left and have power beyond any mortals understanding."_

_The dragon dies and Inaniene wants to weep, but only feels hatred. Once more she is denied the peace from death.  
_

_"Not so fast," the creature tells her. He was once Ra-Coshka's general, King of Bekanori and powerful in his own right, equal to the Dark Ones and responsible for the great Dragons death. He is the betrayer. "You are bound to the great Dragon and as such, now that I have conquered her, you shall be my property as well."_

_He takes her to the great white city of Raspuka, so beautiful that she weeps at its sight._

_He clamps the collar around her neck. "Owned again," she weeps._

_"You will never rest until the Dragon's quest is done. You will take another's body for however long you must live as the old one dies, but you will never be released. You will bring all back to me and then take your place as an honored pet and watch as I rule this world."_

_His laughter is dark, twisted and full of hatred._

_"None may touch you, you are my possession and your body, soul, everything belongs to me and me alone. Break this rule and you will suffer as no being has ever suffered in this world."_

Cullen sat up with a start. His head is throbbing and tears stream down his face. Maker, he cries out in his head, the pain, the heartache, he is panting as pain coursed through his veins.

Looking around he sees Inani, curled to his side sleeping, "Andraste, Maker," he whispers, trying to find a prayer to ease her pain, to save her from her fate. She looks so frail, yet she carries so much pain, Maker he feels like an idiot too. How many times had his hands strayed across her body while his lips begged for more? He was no better than the creatures who had used her as well. He also understood why she was cursed and why she claimed his feelings were not real for her. But was it true? Cullen pushed the hair that had fallen over her face back and looked down at her.

What did he feel? Was it just an urge that was uncontrollable? Maybe it was why he felt as a young man he was in love at first sight, but what about now? No. A curse of lust would make him think of nothing but having sex with her he decided. What he felt for her was beyond anything like that. Yes, he did desire her in such a manner, but he _loved_ her for her saving his life at Kinloch Hold, something she had no reason to do so. He _loved_ her for how tender she treated him and how she was always there for him, taking care of him and making him feel like he was no longer broken, worthless. He _loved_ her because if they never slept together even once, he still needed her in his life, still needed to hold her close and offer up any protection he could give her. Maybe she was cursed, maybe it was why men like Jacen and even Fergus were instantly attracted to her and craved her too, but that was not him. Yes she was attractive, yes he did desire sex with her, but he was content to only have her as he had and that was love, real love and nothing to do with curses and such.

Slowly pulling her into his arms, he settled down to sleep, the overload of images, of all the feelings, was taking its toll on him. While he was getting stronger on a whole, he still tired so easily and after all that he saw and the emotional overload he was still dealing with, he knew he still needed rest. They would talk when she woke up, talk about all he saw and he wanted to know exactly what this being was who held her now. Somehow, he would save her, just as she had saved him and he would prove that he truly loved her too and maybe somewhere locked away deep in his heart he still held a hope that if he could free her, save her, then they could stay together and never be parted again. For now, however, he needed his rest, because he knew inside the battle against Corypheus was nothing compared to the fight she was going to face and by Andraste's grace he would be right there beside her and this time she would not face evil alone, this time she would have someone who was truly there for her and her alone. She had been caught in a cycle of others using her for what she could give them and it was time for someone to change it and give for her and her alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was hard to write. Inani has lived a life of misery over and over again and while I knew her past when I created her, I still felt emotional putting it into words. She is a strong woman, a fighter to the end, but has never known love or kindness in her many lives. Thankfully Cullen will show her what real love is all about and I hope it is enough to save her from this cycle of hell she is living.


	19. That Which Is Invited

After learning of Inani's past, Cullen found himself acutely aware of every moment his body slightly brushed against hers, every time their fingers touched and every kiss they shared. They are talked in detail about the images and feeling he experienced and she had answered any questions he had. Knowing so much about her past, reliving the pain that had shaped into who she was today had made a bond that neither had felt before.

He had also moved into her tower, stating to others that it was unfair to Rylen to be using his office with him snoring away above him, but in truth, it was just due to the bond between them and for once Inani could openly be who she truly was in front of another and truly share herself with someone. She had endured not only a painful life but also a lonely one and having him close in her day to day life was a treasure she never thought she would ever experience.

One thing that had surprised her was that as an after effect of the ritual used to allow him access to her own memories, he was capable of reading her language as well and in the months that followed, she helped him to fluently read it and speak it rather well too. Sharing with him the bits and pieces of parchments and books she had recovered, as well as volumes she wrote from memory of stories and history, a small slice of a life lost so long ago that was purely for a connection to something to hold on too. After all the centuries that had passed, she wanted some token of her beginning that wasn't wrapped around the horror of her past.

The most amazing thing she shared with him, or so Cullen felt, was that at night as they laid sleeping together, she took him deep into the Fade and showed him the world she came from. She showed him the great cities of Abashura, where the Gods came to walk among the people they ruled over. He watched in wonder as she brought him to see the great libraries of Nakaru that were filled with more books than every Circle in Thedas combine in but one room of the complex that was bigger than the city of Denerim all on its own.

Yet, the one thing that truly left him breathless was when she took him to the great hatcheries of the twin dragons, where their young were raised and bonded with one person whom later rode them into battle against the Demons of the west that sought to destroy the world she lived in. She told him that once there was no barrier between Demons and people as there was today and that the old Gods had created a race of humans whose lives were devoted to keeping them contained within the dark lands of the west.

He also learned that the final battle between the fallen Gods, who became the Dark Ones, and the Dragon Ra-Coshka, she sacrificed her essences to seal them away in a prison so that they could never destroy the world and reduce it to a scorched and ashen wasteland where nothing could ever live upon it again. She had told him that was why her mission was so important, that the Dark Ones called from their prison, trying to find a way back into the world to finish their mission and that many a foolish person often fell to their lies of power they offered. It was why she had tried to find the mirror she thought Nadia had, those mirrors allowed Demons to come into the world, they were simple servants to the Dark Ones and allowed them a view into the world. The Demons were mere husks that were temporary bodies for them to use as they saw fit.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bastian Hawke had been at Skyhold for some time and Rina found she did not like the man and even more so when two of his companions arrived as well. They had just returned from the Western Approach and learning of what Corypheus was doing with the Wardens had put everyone on edge. Aedan and Hawke had been arguing nonstop since and honestly, Rina was tired of hearing it. To make matters worse, both Merril and Anders was waiting for them at Skyhold and Aedan was livid over Hawke's stance on bloodmagic seeing as his partner was a Maleficar.

"You bastard, all I have heard from you is bloodmagic this and that, but yet you sleep with a Maleficar and condone her own use of it," Aedan shouted, "and that's even before we look at this monster, you let walk around unleashed. Rina is the Herald of Andraste, she is devoted to the Chantry, yet the monster who blew up one is here, what the hell are you thinking?". Maker, he might have worked with Hawke and certainly was thankful for his first-hand accounts on Corypheus, the monster Hawke let loose, but that didn't mean he liked the man. Aedan understood that sometimes the world forced you into situations that you could do nothing but watch, but what Hawke allowed his companions to do, well that was something completely different.

"I don't care what you think or not, Merril is my partner and just as you have your woman-."

"My wife, you bloody bastard, my wife, who has never used her blood to summon demons, which is more than can be said for your stupid twit," Aedan was livid. One thing everyone knew was that anything negative said about his family was subject to Aedan's wrath. Morrigan may have been an Apostate, but she was smart enough to know not to listen to the lies demons told and let them loose in the world.

"Bastard!" Hawke went to slug Aedan with his metal-encased hand only to find himself frozen.

Turning to look behind him, Aedan saw his wife walking down the stairs. "Now I know boys sometimes get a bit rowdy, but I am sure you were not planning on hitting my husband," Morrigan smirked, knowing full well what Hawke had planned, "because if you were, you would know that your pets you keep, along with your own pathetic power is nothing compared to what I am capable of when my family is threatened," and with that she released him from the paralyzation spell she used.

"This isn't over," Hawke sneered and stalked off to his rooms with both Merril and Anders following him.

"Maker's breath!" Aedan swore and then turning to his wife, he pulled her to him and kissed her, "you never cease to amaze me, love," he murmured against her lips.

"And you never cease to get into trouble," she chuckled before kissing him again.

Turning to head back to the keep and to the courtyard, they found Rina sitting under the gazebo, sniffling and reading a letter.

"Are you alright Milady?" Aedan asked.

"Oh, yes, no, well," she wiped a stray tear away and tried to smile, "It's just a letter from Alistair and I miss him much, but I was thinking about what happened to the Wardens and how he could have been one of them, you as well Aedan. It breaks my heart to think of them."

"I understand," Aedan replied quietly to her, "they are my Brothers and Sisters, my friends and the thought of them falling, one by one, it hurts."

"Hawke acts as if they just said, ok, what the heck and took it, but Alistair told me about what you faced with the Blight, what could have happened had the two of you not been there to stop it. How many Archdemons are still out there? How many could still happen? What if there are no Wardens left to stop them? Maker, one Blight with no Wardens and all of Thedas could be lost to the Darkspawn," she cried even harder and Aedan placed an arm around her and hugged her to him.

"Rina, we will stop them and save my fellow Wardens. Corypheus will not win, I swear it. No matter what we face at Adamant, I trust you will see us through it and that we can save them."

Rina looked up at him and then to Morrigan, "Thank you, both of you, this was never a role I could have dreamed I would be in and having people like you with me, well it gives me hope," Standing she smiled and Aedan and Morrigan watched as she walked away.

"There was a time when people like her made me ill," Morrigan told him, "but even I admit, Rina is a very kind-hearted and truly a good soul. I find that even I cannot find it possible to not care about her."

"Maker!" Aedan exclaimed and then smiled as his wife cocked one eyebrow at him, "What has happened to wicked witch I married? Is she turning soft now?"

"Fool," she smiled, "On that note, I take my leave, Inani is meeting Jowan and me in the Mage tower and going over some ideas to help protect your foolish arse from Corypheus encase he decides he wants to use your handsome body next."

Laughing, he swatted her on her shapely arse as she walked away and left to spend some time with his son who had taken a liking to the Mage Fiona. For some reason, Kerian like the Elven Mage and enjoyed talking with her as often as he could and anytime he was not with one of his parents, that was where he could be found. He told his Father that he felt sad for her that she could not raise her own son and that being around him made that pain a bit less in her. When Aedan had asked his son how he knew that, he simply shrugged and said he just did.


	20. Conversations

Dorian seldom left his and Rylen's rooms since the incident with Jacen but after weeks of being cooped up, he finally ventured from them on an invitation from Inani to meet her and Jowan in the courtyard. Cullen had seen to it that wooden steps were built so he could leave their rooms and actually walk down into the courtyard without entering the keep itself. It also gave him a view of the area so that he could see who was there before entering as well. Dorian was touched with the kindness Cullen had given him. He had always considered Cullen as a bit of a brute and Maker knew the man was not quiet while voicing his distaste for Nobility, but he admitted he regarded him harshly and judged him poorly, especially seeing as daily he had come personally to see if he needed anything.

Finding the courtyard almost completely empty, Dorian finally relaxed and looking forward to spending time with Inani again. She was a charming woman and while he knew without a doubt that she was not Magister's Scipio beloved daughter, seeing as he knew both Father and Daughter, he still found himself enjoying her company and the fact she was very well read certainly helped. He figured that she was simply a Mage, like so many others, who were hiding and took a name to try and find protection under. Outside of Minrathous, none would really know of the Scipio's and that his daughter's name was actually Claudia and she was not even closely as gifted in magic as Inani was. While at one point he had thought of outing her, he realized how harmless it was that she used Scipio as her last name. Hiding who you were, for any reason, was something Dorian greatly sympathized on, especially seeing as Inani was not here to harm any, and in fact, had helped a great many people. Maybe one day she may even share why she did such with him, but for now, it truly was not worth concerning himself over. Inani was a true friend and regardless what her real name was, she was dear to him. 

Dorian was not as arrogant as many thought he was and the truth was he couldn't help the fact his Father poured much money into making sure his son was intelligent and highly educated. Finding someone who could talk endlessly about magic, history and other various topics was a treasure. While he loved Rylen with every inch of his being, he could only groan at some of their conversations. Rylen was well versed, most Templar's were as they spent much of their off time reading while stationed at a Circle. Both out of boredom and that the more they knew about magic the better they could do their job. Still, Rylen may very well be breathtaking to look at, but hours of cultured conversation about Tevinter history or new theories on what one could possibly do with magic was not his thing, bless his kind heart he tried, but it just was not ever going to be his strongest attribute.

"Dorian," he smiled as Inani called him over to where she and Jowan sat on a blanket and had many books open around them, "I am so glad you decided to join us. Jowan has some interesting ideas and I am eager to hear your input on it and your expertise on it is well needed."

Dorian arched an eyebrow at her, knowing full and well she was every bit as intelligent as him, even more so most likely, but the show of needing him and wanting his input charmed him greatly and made him smile as he joined them, "So what are we discussing today?"

"We are discussing the theory of that within the Fade itself there are other realms sealed off, but not impossible to travel to in a dream state," Jowan said excitingly, "King Alistair gave me free rein on studying magic and in the course of it, I found a dealer in rare books, most likely a pirate," he chuckled, "who brought me some ancient books that came from Qunari conquered lands that thankfully were not destroyed."

"Interesting," Dorian mused, "I have also read some ideas on various realms and the possibilities of traveling amongst them. In fact, Alexius had mused that if the Elven stories were fact then it proved there were multiple realms, since the ones they regarded as the Forgotten Ones were sealed away in the Void, then that alone says there are more than just the Fade."

"Very true," Inani agreed, "Plus, one must consider that we are only dealing with what is known here in Thedas, but there are lands deep into the west and those across the sea that have their own realms, Gods and such that could exist beyond what we know too. I mean, well look at the Fade. Everywhere we go you can see the Black City, however, we see nothing that speaks of lands elsewhere. If one knows there are other lands and they too dream, well where are they? When was the last time someone told you that they were from a town never heard of in Thedas? Maybe they do not dream, but if they do, could they not have their own pocket of the Fade they travel or realm entirely different and not part of the Fade as we know it?"

"That is an interesting idea, my dear," Jowan smiled, Inani and Dorian were treasures to speak too. While he was grateful Alistair spared his life and Maker knew the man was fascinated by magic, runes, and other Arcane ideas and helped Jowan secure all the books, scrolls and artifacts he could, there was really no one for him to truly speak about magic in theory at court, "could you imagine what it would be like if one could free the constraints that keep us tied to the Fade and be able to travel among realms? The knowledge one could find!" Jowan exclaimed excitedly just thinking of what might be found!

"True, however, one may find things they wish they did not as well," Dorian added, not that he wanted to discount the Mage's excitement, but caution was always a must when dealing with the Fade, after all, look at what the Magisters of old did and what the monster they now faced wanted to do as well, "You could find a realm of only torture and pain, of places you wished you could die if it meant leaving."

"But if one could have some form of safeguard, perhaps an anchor?" His mind was already wondering as to what he might find, Jowan did not see the frown on Dorian's face.

"If one applied a so-called anchor," Dorian spoke, "what if you allowed something horrible to come through here, using your body to hide within?"

"True enough, I apologize, I got a bit carried away," Jowan grinned and the others laughed at the sparkle in his eye.

"Realm traveling would indeed be interesting, perhaps if one could be connected to another, they could experience and record what was seen and found and also safeguard that should the other be lost, well that any type of abomination should arise, they could be cut down before the being could be unleashed on Thedas."

"Ah, Milady is always the voice of reason," Jowan grinned and winked at Inani, "you just have to take the fun out of it?"

"More like keeping us boys from getting out of hand," Dorian laughed at Inani's blush, "since we all know she is good at keeping one impulsive boy in check."

"Hey, more power to her, personally I like this version of a calmer Cullen then the one I knew in the tower. He may have been all doe-eyed over Solona, but he certainly was not as forgiving over Mages, especially freed Mages as he is now."

"Solona?" Inani asked, "Who was she?"

Jowan now blushed and turned his head a bit, "She was a sweet girl in our Circle that Cullen was quite taken with. I was told she died in the tower when it fell during the Blight. She was, or had been a good friend of mine too, hearing she had become an abomination was," Jowan paused and took a breath, "hard, I imagine it haunted Cullen even more so."

Inani sat back and thought about this new information. Maybe that was the root of Cullen's nightmares over the Blight, maybe it was guilt over not saving the one person he wanted too. Which made her wonder, did he perhaps feel some anger at her as well? She had saved him, but not the girl he loved. It was something she would have to think about and out of nowhere, she found herself struck with another thought. Did he love her because he was unable to be with the woman he truly loved? Inani felt her heart clench, never in her life had she felt even a second of jealousy, but the thought of her only being in his heart because the one he truly wanted was not here made her heart hurt and she felt pain slice through her.

"Now, now my dear," Dorian touched her arm gently, "Don't even allow for one moment such thoughts to enter your head or your heart that Cullen doesn't love you fiercely and only you. The man is completely doe-eyed over you and anyone can see his heart is for you and you alone."

Inani shook herself, these human emotions were killing her, or at least that was the excuse she told herself, "No, it's fine Dorian, I was thinking perhaps it was guilt over not saving her that was the root of his nightmares, nothing else."

Dorian and Jowan exchanged looks and both thought the same thing, that might as well be true, but it was obvious she also was hurt and most likely wondering if Cullen truly loved her or not. They continued on with their conversation on other possible realms outside of the Fade when Jowan realized the time and he would be late once more to a war council meeting. He was having a hard time with being the Arcane Adviser and wondered once more why Inani had not been chosen. She had far more knowledge of magic, anyone could see that, and would be more at ease in such a setting then he was.

Saying their goodbyes, Inani headed back to her tower thinking more about what Jowan had said. She hated the feeling that was gnawing away at her and once more blaming it on human emotions, they were getting much stronger she realized and with them came this feeling of jealousy too, besides she mused, Solona Amell was dead and it wasn't like she would show up at Skyhold or anything. Smiling to herself she wanted to see Cullen. Needed to see him, more accurately. Since he had explained why he loved her and how it had nothing to do with the lust her curse seemed to inspire, she found herself desiring his kisses and his strong arms holding her.

Walking through the tower door, Cullen had been on one of her lounges reading a book, however seeing her he put the book down and crossed quickly to her and pulled her into a long sensual kiss that left her breathless. Solona Amell might have been the girl he loved as a boy, but she was the woman he loved as a man and that was all that mattered. Solona was dead and not coming back, while she, Inani, was alive and that was all she needed to know where his heart laid.


	21. In my Dreams

The next few days were uneventful enough, other than a few brash words exchanged between Hawke and Aedan. Thankfully, Hawke and his companions stayed to themselves and Aedan spent his time with his wife and son, so at least the outburst was kept to a minimum. There had also been an uneasy moment when Cullen first ran into Anders as well. While Cullen could forgive Jowan for being used as a pawn by Loghain, the man might have tried to poison one man, yet not only did he fail, he also saved a child of possession in the end which made him worthy in Cullen's mind. Anders, however, had the blood of many stained on his hands and had done nothing to even try, if even possible, to redeem himself. Yet, in respect to Rina, he held himself in check and did not break the man's face with his fist, no matter how much he wanted too. While nothing could pardon the man in his eyes, if he helped the Inquisition, well, he would at least be pleasant.

Cullen was also spending more and more of his days with Rylen. He had also come to a few of the war council meetings at Rylen's request as plans for Adamant were finalized. Adamant would be a small war and among the Wardens, and as such, some of the best warriors in Thedas were among their ranks, so there was no room for errors. Rina had also asked Cullen to join them once more, as much as he felt up to, as her nerves were frayed over the coming battle. Rina may have embraced her new role and as shocking as it was too many, Jacen had helped her with her fighting and how to use the mark to her advantage in a fight against demons. Yet, even with her confidence growing and her skill as well, she still leaned on her advisers heavily for guidance and as such, asked more and more for Cullen to join them at meetings.

He was pushing himself hard and some nights it was in the early morning hours before he returned to Inani's tower to sleep. He was essentially living with her, however, they did not share a bed together. While she might trust Cullen, he, however, did not. He was trying to prove his true love to her that was based on more than the desires of the so-called curse she suffered from invoked and sleeping in a bed every single night next to her was more than he could handle. It was bad enough when he could hear her as she conjured water into her large brass tub and hear the water sloshing against her body as she moved within. Sometimes it was so bad, he had to take himself in hand just to stop him from climbing the steps and showing her the bliss he was sure their bodies would give them. Maker, he swore at himself, never had he desired a woman so bad in his life. Never had he experienced such a driving _need_ to share his body with someone. Worse, every single time he took care of his own desires, the guilt after it was almost more than he could bear, yet, even so, it happened again and again.

Tonight, it was the same as always, he heard the water and then the dreamy sigh she let out as she lowered herself into the tub. He could imagine the sight of her creamy skin, damp, and then her hair loose and sticking to her wet skin and then, Maker, then he could imagine her full round breasts bobbing in water, rosy tips begging for his lips to pull them into his mouth, "Sweet Maker!" he had to stop, had to get control of himself. Standing up, he began pacing back and forth, telling himself to get control. The Templar's taught him control, they taught him not to lust after a woman in front of him, although that caused him to chuckle since most of the Templar's he knew dallied with Mages far to often to count, still he never did. He took his duty to the Maker seriously, he was there to protect Mages from the lure of Demons, he was not there to sate his base desires. Yet now, well he was no longer a Templar, no he was-.

"Cullen, do you want my water tonight?"

Her voice drifted down from the second floor and Cullen could feel it rush over him, stroking his skin and urging a fire deep inside him to explode once more and claim what he desired, "Uh no, that's, uh that's OK, I'll just hit the baths later."

"Cullen, don't be silly, I am already done and it's only a flick of my hand to reheat this water," she chuckled and after a few minutes called to him it was ready.

Cullen drug his feet up the steps, he hadn't been in her bedroom since the night she shared her history with him, he had used every excuse he could come up with to not see where she slept again, to see those soft sheets and imagine her naked body laid out to perfection, displayed like some forbidden idol to be worshiped, to lay before it in devotion. Maker, what was wrong with him?

Finally reaching the top floor, he had to contain the hiss of pleasure that was desperate to leave his mouth. She stood there with her ebony locks piled up on her head and a silky robe wrapped around her curvaceous body, hanging slightly off her shoulders and displaying the long curve of her slender neck.

"Cullen?" he swung his gaze back to her face and felt like he was panting in need, "Are you OK? You seem a bit off."

He watched as she walked closer and felt his heart trying to claw its way out of his chest as he focused on her lips. She licked them and they parted slightly. He couldn't stand another second without tasting them, without having her flush against him, he-.

"Cullen?" He blinked his eyes and saw her face and knew at that moment she knew where his mind had gone and that was when the sadness crept into them, knowing his thoughts it seemed.

"I'm sorry, the lyrium, it had made me-." He tried to cover his lust.

"It's the red lyrium potion Cullen, red lyrium speaks to a person's lower desires, makes them act on things they never planned too."

Was that what was wrong with him? Was it just the lyrium still working itself out of his system? He didn't think so, but then again he never been poisoned with red lyrium before.

"Cullen, look at me," his eyes looked up to hers and he focused on her once more, "Cullen," he listened to her voice and watched as she walked to stand in front of him. She raised her hand to his face and then everything went hazy for him as she pulled his face down to hers and kissed him, wasting no time, his lips parted and before he knew it she was stroking her tongue against his. He watched as she pulled back and slid the robe off her body, "I want you, Cullen, take me."

Cullen woke up in a flash, Maker's breath what going on with him? Looking down he growled at himself, this wasn't the first time he had woke up to from a dream of claiming her body but good grief it had felt so real. Looking around quickly, he realized it was late and Inani had gone to bed some time ago.

He waited for a few minutes and listened, there were no sounds anywhere. Sliding his sleeping breeches down over his slim hips, he couldn't help the sigh as the cool air wisped against his feverish skin. He drew his hands up to stroke his chest and then slowly going lower, it became her hands stroking him, her hands dipping lower to cup his sack as the other drifted over his erection, teasing him with light fingers, making him ache and as such, he whimpered her name.

He grasped his length and couldn't stop the buck of his hips as he slid himself through those teasing fingers, "Inani," he hissed and then felt his heart stop as her hands were replaced with her mouth. She wasted no time, there was no teasing, she just took him deep, hard, fast and Maker did it ever feel like heaven! He felt himself swell with his approaching orgasm, but it didn't matter to her, she still took him deep and then he felt her tongue press hard at the base of his head and everything went blank, he was blinded by pleasure and came hard, grunting her name, praising her and desperate to give such to her too. Maker, just the thought of feeling her body shaking around him as he buried his tongue again and again inside of her, drinking her and sucking on her swollen pearl, begging her to come for him, begging for her to ride his face until she was screaming his name.

"Fuck," he swore as he felt another shutter wash over him. Slowly his breathing became normal again and his heart found some way to settle back into his chest as he ran one hand through his damp curls to settle his hair once more. Leaning over he grabbed his shirt and wiped away the evidence of his weakness.

Leaning back once more Cullen realized he needed to have his own chambers again. While he was grateful for all she had done for him, grateful that without her he would have died or _worse_ from the red lyrium inside him, he knew that being so close to her, it was driving him crazy. Not that he was some ravaging animal who couldn't control himself, but just now was proof enough that his need, desire to claim her fully was only being fueled sleeping here. He would never forgive himself should he act on any of the damn dreams plaguing him, not to mention he had sworn to himself he would prove her curse had nothing to do with his love for her and if she saw him, heard him, Maker.

Come to the morrow they would have to talk and he would explain his situation, well not in _that_ much detail and he expected as always, she would understand. She always understood everything and there were days when he wondered if perhaps she was to understanding. Shaking his head, he settles back down to sleep, riding himself of such thoughts, at least for the night.


End file.
